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Month: July 2015

July 2015

Vacation Vex

The lump in my throat hardens as I watch them walk away. They are walking away into vacation for two weeks without me. I resist the overwhelming urge to run after them, to buy a plane ticket to join them, to start sobbing in front of strangers. I pretend not to count the minutes they are in-flight and I nonchalantly check my phone every 30 seconds until the safe arrival message is received. Fortunately, my children are going off to visit my parents for 1 week and then will travel again to visit their dad’s parents for 1 week. They
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Sweet Forgiveness

This month would have marked my 35th wedding anniversary to my children’s father. On a hot July afternoon, I dressed in lace, ruffles, and pearl buttons to say “I do” in his grandma’s back yard. We committed until death. We lasted a little more than a decade. In the years since our divorce, I’ve felt a silent pride at my efforts to forgive my former spouse for his wrongdoings. Some real and heart-rending. Others perceived and petty. What I realize today is that there was a long list to forgive myself for, too. For accepting a marriage proposal from a
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Rocky Road Recovery

I remember feeling sluggish.  I remember having a hard time getting out of bed in the morning.  I remember when brushing my teeth at the end of the day felt like a chore. I remember the year I got divorced and all of the lethargy that went with it. And notwithstanding the constant feeling that my feet were being pulled down by quicksand, I couldn’t let my life stop. I still had a business to run, bills to pay, clients for whom to advocate, and daughters to raise. I look back now and feel amazed that I got through it.
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Damaged Goods

“You’re a divorce lawyer?” he asked with some mixture of mild surprise or delight that I couldn’t discern. “I just called one last month.” He had only been married for three years but had been planning his separation for some time. “She’s mean,” he repeated three times during our flight from D.C. to Chicago. We had plenty of time for him to explain. How his wife forbade him to spend time with his friends.  How he had been cut off from his four sisters since he got married. He boasted about the college plans for his adopted daughter as he
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Love Wins: A Divorce Lawyer’s Advice to Sustaining the Win

I remember a June day 14 years ago. I was tucked behind the enormous old wooden doors at St. John’s Church, waiting in white to walk down the aisle. My heart was swelled up just like the tears in my eyes. I was heading toward my future as a wife and it never once occurred to me that the future ahead would not last. I was confident that our love would overcome, surmount, dodge, and even defy any obstacle that came our way. Heartbreakingly, I was wrong. This week as we celebrate the historic Supreme Court ruling that opened the
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