Month: February 2017

February 2017

Being Dishonest

February 23, 2017 / Doing Divorce

I was sneaking down the stairs to the basement to avoid both the creaky steps and detection. I made my way to the Sam’s Club storage stash and started taking the packs of toilet paper out to hide them in a different place. I was nervous and moving quickly. The shame of my scheming and deceitful behavior was one thought and tear away. I felt like a thief. I was in my own home. To remember, let alone admit to this behavior, immediately fills me with embarrassment. I had a choice to ignore this part of my past and pretend

Expectations or Expectancy

February 16, 2017 / Doing Divorce

Expectations have set me up for more than a little suffering in life. This week I decided to give expectancy of good a try instead. When I predict things will go badly, expectations leave me feeling blue in anticipation. When I predict events will unfold precisely as I’d planned, expectations inevitably leave me feeling disappointed. I decided to set aside my Valentine’s Day expectations of happy or sad, of good or bad, and instead hold the expectancy of a good day. I used my analytical mind to protect my thin-skinned heart. I retrieved a favorite well-worn tool, list-making, and gathered

Above and Beyond

February 9, 2017 / Doing Divorce

I was starting to stress with every snowflake coming down. I had to get my girls safely to school on time in this slippery slush and then make sure I was in the courtroom with my exhibits organized and ready to go promptly at our 9 a.m. start time. From the parking garage I half jogged in my suit and snow boots toting my rolling briefcase behind me and double checking that I had my high heels ready for a quick change in the courthouse. I arrived somewhat breathless to find a dark courtroom. Neither the bailiff nor the judge

Resisting Relaxing

February 2, 2017 / Doing Divorce

I believe in the rule of three. When I hear something three times, I pay attention. “Relax” said my friend, watching my analysis of the political happenings of the day, my voice speeding up as though to catch my waving arms. “Relax” said my instructor at my Tuesday night belly dance lesson as my mind battled with my body. “Relax” said my co-worker as I battled an imaginary opponent, explaining with agitation my missed deadline. Am I really that uptight? Does my mere presence make others anxious? Am I the antithesis of easy going? I picture myself a positive person,