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Thousands of fans sat awestruck and silent as she skated across the ice. Her bare backed costume shimmered even more than her smile. Graceful. Strong. Beautiful. 

The dedicated from across the country competed to gain a coveted spot in the U.S. Figure Skating Championships. Young skating hopefuls sought autographs and snapped photos of skating greats from years gone by as the announcer recited the impressive successes of the competitors.

Music filled the air as the skater showed her family that all of the sacrifices had been worth it. Moving away from family to be near the skating club. Awakening in the dark dawns of winter to get her ice time. Missing her friends. Switching the college fund to the skating fund.

In this moment, she was giving it her all.

She magically spun up into the air, then came crashing down face first onto the ice. The gasp from the mesmerized masses was audible, such was the shock. My hand instinctively covered the groan coming from my own mouth.

A crash from marriage into divorce can feel like smashing onto cold, hard ice. We worked hard to make our marriage work. We made sacrifices, having faith it was all worth it. We endured, knowing that it would take time. We gave it our all. And still, in that moment when it slips out from under us, we were unsuspecting.

As quickly as she tumbled down, her lithe body rose up. Without pause she stepped back into the rhythm of the soundtrack she had listened to hundreds of times. She completed her performance as colorful flowers flew down onto the ice from fans in the stands.

The allotted time of 4 minutes had passed.

How do we let the skater be our sage?  How do we get back up after we are down? How do we regain our focus after a fall? How do we retain our grace when our moment is no longer what we had dreamed of? How do we remember this is a time in our life but it is not our entire life?

The figure skater has practiced falling. It does not stop her from the double axle or the speedy spin. She understands that falling is a part of the passion of living the life she was called to live. Rather than fearing the fall, she focuses on the next note in the music, the next place to which she will glide.

While surely she will ice her bruises and shed some tears, she fulfills her intentions to give it her all and to move forward. And after the fall, she remains who she was from the beginning. Graceful. Strong. Beautiful. 

Coach Koenig

What will you focus on to stay true to who you are during your divorce?  Let us hear from you!

 

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