“I need a vacation.” Have you ever uttered these words? If we’re worn out, stressed out, or burned out, we need a break.
Going through a divorce is a big job. It demands hard work. Your time, money, thoughts, and conversations center on your divorce. Your divorce can feel all consuming and never ending.
If you are worn out, stressed out, or burned out from an exhausting divorce, consider a Litigation Vacation. Give yourself a respite from being constantly consumed by your divorce. Whether it’s a long weekend or an entire week, take a break from your deluge of divorce documents and “To Do’s.”
If you’re ready for a Litigation Vacation, here’s how:
Set your Litigation Vacation Goal. Pick a deadline and be specific about how long your vacation will be. After all, If you need the time off you need to know when and how much. For example, “I take a 4 day Litigation Vacation by April 1, 2014.”
Put it in Writing and Pictures. Write out your goal and put it where you cans see it. Add a few pictures of your smiling face—-the one that’s relaxed and not thinking about your divorce.
Start Planning. Will this be a “staycation” or will you take up that offer from you best pal to get away for a few days? Do you have any dollars to spend, or will you enjoy yourself on a slimmer post-separation budget? Will anyone join you on your vacation? (Of course you’ll check with your lawyer if you’re unsure on this answer.)
Prepare to Unplug. Since you’ll be on vacation, you won’t be sending texts or emails about your divorce. No posting about your ex on Facebook. (You already stopped doing that, right?) Complete any outstanding promises to get those bank statements to your lawyer. Let the law office know the dates you’ll be away and how to get a hold of you in an emergency. Note: An emergency is not a letter from opposing counsel asking for the blender and the salt and pepper shakers you bought on your honeymoon.
Seek Some Fun. Since you will not be working on, talking about, or focusing on your divorce, you’ll have time and energy for something else. What will that be? Completing that woodworking project? Escaping into that delicious novel? Three days with your binoculars looking for loons and grebes? Anything you love except for thinking, talking, or doing divorce work.
Rally the Troops. Tell your friends your plans. They’ve been kind and patient listening to you talk about everything from how you miss you’re your sofa to how you dread your deposition. They’ll be glad to hear that you (and they) will get a break. If you are tempted to slip back into obsessively analyzing your retirement account, give them permission to gently remind you that you are on vacation and such topics are off limits.
Divorces can take a long time to come to completion. It’s easy to get worn out along the way. Enjoy a little getaway for some rest and rejuvenation. You might end up with some happy vacation memories, too.
Coach Koenig
2 Comments
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This is good advice even if not in a divorce. Gotta get going on my “Noreaster” trip for next fall.
This blog has helped me so much through my divorce, you wouldn’t believe it. I’ve spoken to my attorney here in Anchorage AK a lot about how I still have worth, even if my husband didn’t think so. I’m just glad we didn’t have any kids. It would have been rough on them, too.
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