It was in the late summer of 2011 when I traversed the magical landscapes of Ireland, complete with perfect rainy days, brilliant colorful flowers on every lamppost and windowsill, and quaint pubs filled to the brim with singing men. I was in the middle of my divorce action when I was lucky enough to travel to the country of my ancestors and dreams. When I think about the timing of that trip converging with my need for space and healing I am brought to thoughts of divine intervention, or the oft quoted principle that “everything happens for a reason.” But I wonder if sometimes we just get lucky.
I did not know when I booked my trip to Ireland that I would be midway through my divorce. (However, I may have had a strong inkling when my then spouse did not want to join me in Ireland). Although my marriage was in a sad state, I didn’t know I would have filed for divorce, separated households, be sharing time with my daughters, or selling my house. So when the trip arrived, after the hardest months of my life having just passed, and I landed on lush Irish soil, I felt incredibly lucky. I was so lucky that this time had been built in, unintentionally, to allow me time away to reclaim myself.
Luck is one of those must-haves in the optimist’s toolbox. The belief in luck requires hope, optimism, and the whisper, perhaps, of a little bit of magic. The very foundation of luck is that there are events in this world that operate in tandem with those principles of destiny or surrendering to something larger than yourself that assists in directing your path.
Most people going through a divorce do not feel lucky. In fact, they feel the opposite. People going through a divorce feel like something is wrong with them, that they are bad parents, and that they didn’t have what it took. They scroll through their Facebook feed and feel like they are the unlucky ones unable to post family pictures or proudly announce anniversaries.
But what if there isn’t magic? For example, juxtapose the following truthful statements I could make:
I am unlucky I am divorced because I do not get to see my children every day.
I am lucky I am divorced because my daughters, my former husband and I are happier now than we have ever been.
What if luck is really a belief system or the filter with which you view events and happenings in your world? What if luck is really a function of perspective and attitude? You would then be in control of your luck, and how lucky is that?
Happy St. Patrick’s Day! This Irish girl bestows the following Irish blessing upon you:
May joy and peace surround you,
Contentment latch your door
And happiness be with you now
And bless you evermore!
Angela Dunne
What can you feel lucky about during this time of transition?
