Joy. Calm. Beyond. These words start to fill up my social media feeds at the first of the year when people are apt to choose “one little word” to set a specific intention or provide inspiration for the year ahead. Some chose companion words to provide subtext for a goal: grit, glory, gumption. Over the years, I’ve had some of my words gifted to me in bracelets by friends as a reminder to keep focus.
What if this year your one little word is “divorce?” What if you have been struggling in your marriage for years and this is the year that action will be taken to make a life shift? What if you are blindsided by bad actions on the part of your spouse and this leads you to a divorce filing? What if now is the time to stop living with someone who has become nothing more than a housemate?
In 2011, this unwittingly would have been my word. Companion words were inevitably worry, fear, and depression. Divorce is a permanent state of mind and the perpetual focus when you are making your way through the action. It impacts your immediate and extended families, neighbors, friends, finances, and personal belongings. The expanse of divorce ensures that not a day goes by without divorce occupying your thoughts.
The concept behind the word for a year is that you attract that which holds your focus. You can use the word as a barometer to measure decisions and actions. How close or far away are you from your word when mapping out goals and to-dos?
If your word for the year becomes divorce, what do you want that to mean? What will that signify? Heartbreak or healing? Anger or acceptance? You have a choice on what divorce will mean to you. You can choose how you want to show up in the divorce experience. Will this be an awful word or a word that signifies one of the biggest changes you have seen in your life? You can use your word for power or pity. I have found that when I am going through a very difficult time and I hate the life circumstances confronting me, that having a word or a mantra to pull me away from my distracted negative thoughts is useful.
If you find yourself facing the year that your word will be divorce, I encourage you to pull yourself up to your intentions. How do you want to be? What do you want you want your companion words to be? Try on courage, support, and calm as alternatives to keep your emotional focus on easing through the hard days. I assure you that as time passes you will surely see that it comes to be just one little word.
Angela Dunne
