My head encased in a flurry of bright yellow yarn and wearing a giant yellow dress retrieved from the prop box, I stepped onto the platform as the emcee for talent night. As “Sunny”, I held the toy microphone and appeared a cross between adorable and absurd.
Unable to discern any talent of my own, I had volunteered as the master of ceremonies to celebrate concluding a week of an intense cleanse of mind and body. Since our arrival, we had eaten small plates of raw vegetables for breakfast, lunch and dinner, with the exception of three days when we fasted on green drinks with an occasional celery stick garnish.
Everyone at the wellness center came with a challenge. George, tall, thin, and shy, had a kind bearded face that reminded me of a man I’d fallen in love with in law school. George was living with Lyme disease. Margi, a mother of four whose body was wracked with pain from arthritis, prayed with desperation every day to heal her marriage and heal her body. Olga, a young Polish beauty with dark curls, was healing from a devastating divorce.
We shared the intention to remove the toxins that life had infused in our cells and our spirits. Whether exhaustion or illness had claimed our molecules or our minds, we arrived with hope of departing better than we came.
Detox is uncomfortable and exhausting. Huge amounts of energy are needed for bits deep inside us to journey out. The overwhelming fatigue induced the mid-morning naps. Sweat suddenly broke out on my forehead. Waves of nausea came and went. Headaches made me miss my daily fixes of caffeine. I got cranky.
No health crisis demanded me to detox. This visit—my third—for long days of hunger, classes, and meditation, came with my longing to release both the excesses of sugar and salt I’d put in my body, and to usher out some of the ugly thoughts about myself and others that take up residence in my mind.
By Friday, we were ready for a break. George strummed his guitar as he sang a tender love song. Margi sang words she clung to for surviving her dark nights of the soul. Olga sang a Polish lullaby, her nightly serenade to her two year old. When our successful evening of jokes, and skits ended, a young woman came up to me and asked, “Have you taken improv comedy classes? You’re a natural.”
It seems as though after a week of letting go, a little more light was able to shine through me. My serious and studious self had turned a bit playful, even comical. I could see something about myself that up until then I was blind to. It seemed as though a little talent was in me after all.
Healing from a divorce demands release. It is only through the removing of the dark that our true selves can be fully seen, even to ourselves. The process may be uncomfortable, and may even leave you feeling sick at times. But with faith that you are letting go of that which no longer serves you, there is sure to be a little more light and maybe even a few laughs at the end.