The last day of school
always has a magical quality to it. It
measures a season of growth complete. It
marks the fresh start of summer fun and leisure. It means that change is afoot with the
sprouting of sunflowers and lengthening of bedtimes. My girls and I look forward to the last day
of school each year. To honor the day, I
excitedly wrap up a pair of sparkly flip flips for each of my daughters along
with some summer reads. Tonight, we
completed “Our Summer Bucket List” wherein we identified all of the fun we
intend to have this summer.
The last day of school is
also tinged with sadness. Tear-filled
eyes say goodbyes to friends and teachers for the summer. The comfort of routine is quickly lost to
carefree and relaxed versions of rules.
The structured school days give way to time melted away at the pool.
During divorce we have lots
of “last days.” The last day of living
in the house with my spouse, the last day of seeing my children every day, the
last day of sharing a bank account, the last day of having a dog, the last day
of using my married name, the last day of having health insurance, the last day
of living by my neighbors, the last day of marking “married” on a box, the last
day of feeling secure.
I did not relish or look
forward to any of these last days. In
fact, I mostly dreaded them. In looking
back now I see that in shedding those last days, I was able to move forward
onto some very different paths for my life.
I have done things and met people I never would have, had I not
transitioned through my divorce. At the
time I could not have seen that, nor did I have the capacity to draw upon the
celebration of those last days like I do for the ending of a school year.
I am not suggesting here
that anyone will ever have the capacity to cheer on the last days that are
presented in divorce. But I am
attempting to impart some of my forward-looking-back wisdom, to let you know
that your journey is not over. You are
transitioning through the confines of a larger picture that you simply cannot
see – yet. But you will. In a few months, after you have moved through
the markers of those dreaded days, you will look anew. In hindsight, you will celebrate having made
it through the last days and will look forward to those about to unfold.