This week our firm celebrated a wedding – we witnessed a beautiful joining of two incredible people when our legal assistant, Christi, married her Aaron. Christi was quite simply radiant on Friday evening when she pledged her love, devotion, and commitment to Aaron. To be honest, Christi has worked alongside me for 4 years and I have never seen her so happy, relaxed and bliss-filled.
It occurred to me that Christi found hope and love, despite spending 40 hours of her week working for clients experiencing the collapse of those ideals. That despite staring in the face of divorce and observing our clients coping with the realities of divorce, she was undeterred. She was open to the hope. She embraced her hope and belief that she could build a lifetime partnership with someone she loves.
In some ways she is very well-prepared. In our work with divorce we are often privy to seeing what happens between couples to dismantle a marriage. And along the years we have picked up on some advice to hand out to couples either marrying for the first time or remarrying later. So my wedding wishes for Christi would be:
- Acknowledge each other every single day. Every. Single. Day. Expressing gratitude is so easy to do and so often forgotten.
- Fight fair – learn the lesson of true forgiveness and learn it early so that you don’t start drafting a negative story that will creep up on you years later. Throw away the draft after every fight.
- Stay connected. Don’t allow the drifting to separate parts of the house or forget to enjoy shared activities and interests. And if those interests change over time as you grow, make sure you always maintain some joint endeavors or goals.
It may sound easy. Most of us who have been married know that it is not. But the beauty is that whether you are currently married, presently going through a divorce, or single – we know the hope remains. It exists out there. The hope that partnership, companionship and love persists and exists – one only need be open to it.
Angela Dunne
