The anticipation about life after divorce can produce more anxiety than the divorce itself, especially if it’s been a few decades since you were single.  Here are five steps to help you jumpstart your new life following a divorce:

1.  Prioritize your needs.

After making your spouse and children a priority for years, it’s now time to do the same for yourself.  Start by doing things you enjoy and never had enough time for.  Then branch out to other things that were always on your wish list, like going back to college or embarking on a new career.  And don’t forget to pamper yourself!  Take a spa day, enroll in a yoga class, treat yourself to a great meal, take that trip — all these things will put you back in touch with yourself.  Take time for yourself!

2.  Learn to forgive.

It’s difficult to move forward in your new life if you are still harboring old resentments.  Learn how to let go of your negative feelings about what could have been, and focus on what can be now that you’re on your own.  It’s easier said than done, but if you focus on the good things in your life — both now and in the past — you’ll get there.  Seek out support to support you in this endeavor – find a trusted counselor to help.

3.  Reconnect with old friends.

One of the byproducts of divorce means realizing that friendships you and your spouse shared may not endure post-divorce.  Use this opportunity to get back in touch with old friends, especially those who don’t share a common past with your former spouse.  You’re going to need a new social circle to support you in your new life, and reaching out for some new old friends may just fill the bill.

4.  Learn to be financially independent.

Did your spouse handle all the finances?  Well, now that you’re on your own, you’re empowered to plan your financial future.  If you’re lost when it comes to financial investments and strategies (you’re not alone!) seek some help from a financial advisor or take a class or two that will teach you how to manage your money.  If you weren’t working before the divorce, you’ll likely need to obtain employment in the future.  If you can, use this opportunity to find a fulfilling career that can add to your new life.

5.  Take a break.

After your divorce is final, reward yourself by taking a little break.  Traveling is a great way to kickstart a new life, so plan a trip somewhere you always wanted to go and create new memories on purpose.  Or, break it down and make it easy – focus on rest and rejuvenation for your body and soul to emerge from your divorce transition a stronger version of yourself. 

Determining whether to end a marriage is not an easy decision nor one to be taken lightly. Your legal team at Koenig|Dunne is here to provide you with guidance and advice regarding this difficult decision and all of the decisions that you will face throughout the divorce process.