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Category: Doing Divorce

Angela Dunne provides practical advice based on real examples of what she and her clients have faced through the transition of divorce.

Doing Divorce

Angela Dunne provides practical advice based on real examples of what she and her clients have faced through the transition of divorce.

Pumpkin Perfection

We almost forgot about fall.  Not intentionally.  But it happened with booked up and busy weekends and a failure to plan ahead.  In a mad dash to tackle our fall traditions, we headed to the pumpkin patch on October 28th to pick the perfect pumpkins and return home to carve them. The day was beyond beautiful.  Blue skies, no long lines, and the perfect pumpkins had waited for us in the patch.  Inhaling the crisp fall air and hearing the crunch of leaves under our shoes was good for our souls.  We were happy. We returned home where my parents
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The Last Thing

“I agree with the parenting plan for our son and the child support amount.”  Pause.  “I agree with receiving half of the retirement accounts and home equity.”  Pause.  “I agree with how the debt has been distributed and it is fair.”  Pause.  “But I want the snow blower.” If I had a snow blower for every time negotiations in a divorce action came to a screeching halt over an item of personal property, I could pass them around like Oprah at Christmas.  “You get a snow blower, and you get a snow blower – snow blowers for everyone!” Although it
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Parenting Advisory Board

Should I give up Christmas with my girls?  Should I send them home early from our annual vacation for the funeral of their step-grandparent if he passes during the trip?  Should I have my daughter’s migraines treated with acupuncture, which would be a significant monthly expense, even if her dad won’t pay a portion?  I stared down each of these questions in the past 90 days. Christmas without my girls brings instant tears to my eyes. I want to stomp my feet on the ground like a five-year old not getting her way when I think of cutting my vacation
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Finding Friends: Kindred Spirits & F Yesses

I was nervous. I carefully considered my outfit and my hair. I was being set up by a friend who cautioned me in her initial message that she did not make these introductions regularly or lightly.  I respect her a great deal, so this added to my nerves.  It was a blind date, but not the normal, romantic kind.  I was being introduced to a potential friend.  A potential new girlfriend.  The stakes felt high. We met at the new coffee shop across the street from my building.  She wore a pretty patterned dress and when I saw her through
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Knowing Our Needs

My daughters hurt my feelings.  They didn’t mean to and I am sure they were not aware of their infraction.  But I was feeling sad and put out all the same.  They were at their dad’s house when my newly published book had arrived.  I excitedly opened the box and pulled out the neat stack of hardbound books.  I hugged one to my chest and sighed with pent-up cheer.  The celebration would be a day delayed. This goal was years in the making and one of my proudest accomplishments.  I was bursting.  Of course I shared the news with my
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May I Have My Children?

The text read:  “Two tickets to Taylor Swift.  You get first dibs if you want them.”  My heart started beating a bit.  I started nodding my head to Swift’s lyrics “Big reputation, big reputation” playing in my mind. Two tickets.  Dang.  I will have to pick – although really, the choice was made for me. My youngest daughter’s birthday was this week. This could be a fun birthday celebration.  I would take Sophia. “When is the concert?” I asked.  “This weekend.”  Double dang.  It wasn’t my weekend.  And to compound the whammy – Sophia’s birthday was this weekend while she
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The Gift of Grieving

Saturday morning my eldest daughter called me very early.  I knew before I heard her hysterical sobbing that something was very wrong.  “He died,” she wailed.  She and my younger daughter had just lost a man who was special in their lives.  A man I did not know at all.  A man they called Grandpa Don. Don was their stepmom’s dad.  He joined my girls’ family 5 years ago when their dad married into Don’s family.  So began an extended family that my girls would become close to, but would be basically strangers to me. At first it felt weird. 
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Good Faith: How to Keep Faith in Your Co-Parent

An unexpected traffic detour derailed my perfect attendance for her first day of school.  For 11 years I have been photographing our daughters bright-eyed and bushy-tailed on their first days of school – as the family memory keeper and photobook maker.  This year was unlike the others – one daughter started at a high school several days before the other and a couple of miles now separate the two during the school day.  No more do we have a dual first day of school photo.  I knew that my youngest daughter had been sensitive to everyone asking her older sister
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Perspective on a Path

It was raining.  But all I could see was her smiling face.  I didn’t feel the drops falling on my work blouse.  I didn’t worry about the curly hair on my head it was creating.  I didn’t fret about not finding my umbrella.  Her smile kept me quite unaware.  My first-born daughter was about to walk up the old stone stairways to her brand new high school and instead of weeping in worry I was singularly focused on her bright smile keeping me in this moment where she felt happy and excited – and so too, did I. I have
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Regret – Part 2

The handwriting immediately made me choke up.  Her beautiful calligraphy stretched across the page in perfect lines.  It was short and sweet.  The notes for me, and each of my daughters pulled from an envelope marked “Passing On Papers.”  After my Aunt Suzy’s death, her husband found them in her nightstand.  My mom waited until we arrived for our annual trip to the Oregon coast to give them to us in person. Earlier this year, when my aunt passed away, several months before anyone anticipated with her health challenges, I was struck reeling with grief and regret.  I had left
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