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Category: Doing Divorce

Angela Dunne provides practical advice based on real examples of what she and her clients have faced through the transition of divorce.

Doing Divorce

Angela Dunne provides practical advice based on real examples of what she and her clients have faced through the transition of divorce.

Michaela’s Special Story

April is World Autism Month. To learn more, click HERE. Michaela has been a paralegal at Koenig|Dunne for over 3 years.  Michaela is a divorced mom to Grace (16) and Sophia (14).  This is her story as told to me. I knew the minute she was born she was special.  My Sophia with her dark hair and those large expressive eyes I could get lost in for a lifetime. Before she was born I wondered how I could love her as much I loved her older sister, Grace.  Grace had captured my whole entire heart for the two years before
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Universal Good

“He is a well-known athlete.  He came to every meeting with a complete entourage of bodyguards, accountants, and managers.  I advised him that he would need to leave said entourage at home for the child support hearing in front of the judge.   The day of the hearing, he arrived with his entourage and finally agreed to leave them in the hallway – out of the courtroom.  I then eyed the diamond encrusted watch on his thick wrist.  I told him he would need to take off the $75,000 watch if I was going to proceed with advocating for a lowered
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Black and White Best Interests

She felt sick to her stomach and ran to the restroom.  She was embarrassed as she bumped past her third grade classmates.  Her cheeks were tear-stained when she made it to the nurse’s office. “I just threw up and I don’t feel good.”  The nurse took her temperature revealing a fever. “Ms. Smith?  This is Nancy, the school nurse.  Rebecca just threw up and is running a fever.  Are you able to come pick her up?” “I am.  But today is her dad’s day.  I can come get her, but you should call him first.” “Mr. Smith?  This is Nancy,
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Permission to Parent Part 5: Betting on Benefits

“It would be so easy.  He deserves it for making this decision without you.  Who does he think he is?  You are their mom!” The snarky and self-satisfied devil sat perched on my shoulder whispering into my ear. I could firmly press down one of his vulnerability buttons and expose the worry that he would not be an active and fully engaged father.  I could quite successfully play my trump card by dismissing his decision with contempt and judgment and sent a text message that read “If you want to get out of your parenting responsibilities today, I am happy
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Permission to Parent Part 4: Voicing Vulnerability

I did not know until I was married that my personal kryptonite was being called lazy.  I can still hear him today.  I was exhausted from managing a growing law practice, a full and demanding caseload, and my two toddler daughters.  I was pleading for him to allow me a Saturday morning sleep-in.  Would he please take the girls to breakfast so I could have a couple of hours of rest and quiet? “Don’t be lazy.”  He matter-of-factly replied.  I rose on Saturday at 6:45 a.m. to care for my children and be productive.  I was not lazy. He had
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Permission to Parent Part 3: The Prepared and Practical

The truth about my daughters going to the mall, as I describe in Part 1 of this series, was that I wasn’t ready.  Not only was I not ready, I wasn’t consulted in advance or even at the time.  I was just told.  And worst for me, I was not prepared.  If he had asked me, I would have been able to provide (hopefully) a measured response.  I would have had time to process the pros and cons.  Instead, when I was taken off guard and forced to react to the news an hour before they were leaving, it felt
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Permission to Parent Part 2: Planting Perspective

We have all made the mistake of responding to a co-parent in the heat-of-the-moment-haste.  What would it have been like if you instead had paused?  Would your heated reaction have been the same an hour later? “But this is an emergency!!  My children are in danger!” I hear you and my clients calling out with urgency.  So stop right there.  If it is a true emergency and you truly believe that the safety of your children is being jeopardized, you need to call the police.  If you hesitate in the slightest at calling the authorities, then your children are not
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Permission to Parent, Part 1: Can They Do That?

My stomach and heart clenched up when I received my daughter’s message.  “Dad is going to drop us off at the mall while he runs an errand.”  My children were 6th and 4th graders at the time. “He what????”  I wanted to reply.  But I didn’t.  First I fumed for a full two minutes.  Then I surveyed my options: I could coincidentally be at that very mall at the exact same time my girls were wandering amidst a crowd of predator strangers; I could call and tell him exactly what I thought of that plan and threaten to take him
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Milestones: Part II

We were both nervous.  When I reached for her hand in the car to offer a reassuring squeeze, the clamminess I felt from hers was a sure sign that her stomach was fluttering.  She was facing the unknowns of a new school without knowing another soul.  I was facing the unknowns of how I was going to navigate these last years of hers as she speeds too fast toward adulthood. Last week I wrote about my eldest daughter’s upcoming high school open house.  I described my emotions as I approached the day and wished that I wasn’t a divorced parent
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Melancholy Milestones

It innocently arrived in my mailbox – a small plain postcard.  Four short lines announcing an open house for my eldest daughter to attend at our neighborhood high school because she will be entering its halls in the fall.  The flutter felt in my stomach soon folded into a pit.  I was wrapped in emotion as I took a screenshot to send to her dad so he too could plan to attend. When he responded “ok” indicating that he got the information, I tried to reach out.  I feebly replied that I promised I would try not to cry through
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