As a Sunday ice storm moved into the city, my co-workers made plans to enjoy the closing of the office to turn the weekend from two days to three. My exuberance for a winter snow day, however, was nowhere to be found.
Dangerous roads put the kibosh on brunch plans with friends. A remodel project meant chaos reigned around me with a bathroom demolished, my bed a mattress on my dining room floor, and a dusting of drywall powder throughout. The only thing I had more of than messes were excuses. How could I do my yoga routine with my mat buried among everything from stacked up chairs to chachkies?
Unfinished tasks abounded. The unpaid bills on the kitchen counter. That last box of Christmas ornaments that belonged in the basement. The unreturned phone call to my sister. My energy robbers were tiny but mighty.
Even the cinnamon rolls were guilty. With brunch cancelled I couldn’t let them go to waste, could I? By early afternoon I was overpowered by the white flour and sugar as my mood tanked along with my energy.
My mind traveled its familiar route of backward and forward throughout the day. Forward to the work that I imagined stacking up. Backward to the regretted words I’d spoken the week prior. It made no stops to savor the coziness of the plush throw on my lap or the gift of a potentially peaceful day. My inner critic can condemn incessantly when it gets on a roll.
Although I nearly trashed what could have been a treasured day, by the time I went to bed I woke up to what I needed: A dose of gratitude, some quality connection, and a tidbit of compassion. I vowed to start my Monday snow day anew.
I gave thanks for my warm and lovely home that was on its way to being made even more so. I connected inwardly with some reflection and outwardly with some friends. I reminded myself that even those with a propensity toward positivity can have a bad day (or have the committee in their mind to create one).
During divorce, bad days are more likely than usual to show up. Can you be curious about what you need? It might be a heaping serving of green vegetables, a nap, a run, or a few items crossed off your to do list. Let your complaints be your clues. Self-compassion is what’s called when icy conditions are in the forecast.
Coach Koenig
