Skip to content

Tag: Coach Koenig

  1. Home
  2. Tag Archives: Coach Koenig

Coach Koenig

Enthusiastic Expectations

February 11, 2016 /
I had felt safe in the expectation that the reservation he made at our favorite Indian restaurant in the Old Market signaled a sweet night ahead. Sitting opposite one another in the booth, a small candle flittered as we beamed at one another across the linen table cloth. He reached to retrieve a small rectangular gold box with an extraordinarily elegant matching bow and placed it in front of me. My heart leapt at the sight of it. I love beautifully wrapped packages, and this was exceptional. Given its shape and size, I suspected a bracelet. I desperately tried to
Read More

Retreat. Reflect. Remember.

January 28, 2016 /
The wind pulled the cold temperature to single digits as the gray sky stared down at the brown patches of dirt amidst the snow. Looking out the window, I saw a few determined leaves cling to their branches as they  whipped back and forth. It was the first evening of my solo retreat, and the fireplace and my candle were my best companions. To retreat, to withdraw, to pull back. None of these come naturally for me. I prefer to advance to the next level, to introduce myself at the slightest opportunity, and to push forward toward my goals. Nevertheless,
Read More

Misplaced Milestone Meanings

December 10, 2015 /
They laughed when I said they could sing “Happy Birthday” to me. They must have thought I was joking.  Maybe a mature milestone meant I should be over such childish wishes. I wasn’t. I attach meaning to the ritual of a verse sung by voices of those I love, and it made my heart glad as I prepared to blow out the dozens of candles on the cake on which was written one word in big red letters: Happy. I’ve attached meaning to much over this lifetime.  Sometimes it served me and sometimes not. I attached meaning to the opinions
Read More

Grand Essentials

August 20, 2015 /
When my world was turned upside down, it was hard for me to find my happiness. It was hard to find because it wasn’t where it used to be. When I was married, my happiness perched in many places. It was on our patio on a Tuesday night when soccer practice was cancelled and a family dinner was guaranteed. It was in a plate of buttery corn on the cob and tomatoes with basil just picked from the garden. It was in the simple bouquet of bluebells picked from beside our goldfish pond. It was in the sight of my
Read More

Sweet Forgiveness

July 23, 2015 /
This month would have marked my 35th wedding anniversary to my children’s father. On a hot July afternoon, I dressed in lace, ruffles, and pearl buttons to say “I do” in his grandma’s back yard. We committed until death. We lasted a little more than a decade. In the years since our divorce, I’ve felt a silent pride at my efforts to forgive my former spouse for his wrongdoings. Some real and heart-rending. Others perceived and petty. What I realize today is that there was a long list to forgive myself for, too. For accepting a marriage proposal from a
Read More

Let’s Talk About Sex

June 25, 2015 /
My first sex talk was not with my mother. It was with a priest. I arrived at the century old rectory with my anxiety and spiritual struggle in hand. Despite my years of Catholic education, confession, and communion, I had difficulty with the notion that sex outside of marriage was a sin. I simply couldn’t see the harm. The fact that I was far too young to be having sex with anyone didn’t stop me from wanting to lose my virginity to Duane. I explained. Father listened attentively, without judgment. Talking about sex is scary. No doubt that is why
Read More

Didn’t Know

May 28, 2015 /
I didn’t bother correcting him when he mentioned that we were married for 12 years. After all, it had been 35 years since we met and fell in love. I didn’t feel the need to make him wrong for being off by a year. Here we were together again. My children’s father and I had flown from Nebraska to New York to celebrate our firstborn’s completion of grad school at NYU. Benjamin had gently negotiated that his brother and I would arrive a few days prior to the ceremony, his father staying a few days after. In the middle were
Read More

Mariachi Mother’s Day

May 14, 2015 /
I had a 3 o’clock appointment for a massage from Fernando. I separated from my six travel companions who were more willing than me on this Mother’s Day morning to haggle with the street vendors hawking brightly colored scarves and silver necklaces. I walked quickly to an uncertain destination with my eyes straight ahead under my big black sunhat. In the distance I could see the ocean. I quickened my pace until I arrived at the plaza that opened onto the beach. A line had gathered outside a small white chapel whose entrance was covered in white flowers drooping in
Read More

Whew

April 30, 2015 /
Whew. I can breathe a sigh of relief. I wasn’t as bad of a mother as I sometimes thought. Don’t get me wrong. I was a good mom. Montessori, broccoli, and hugs. But my efforts at being the best mom I could be didn’t stop the thoughts that I should have spent more time with my children. If how my children turned out as adults could earn a prize, their dad and I would win the biggest blue ribbon ever. But plenty of people manage to grow up to be remarkable human beings notwithstanding imperfect parenting.  So my grown children’s
Read More

The Duty of Discomfort

April 16, 2015 /
Have you ever been amazed when someone remembers a handful of words you once spoke in the distant past? Trina and I recently found ourselves catching up on each other’s lives. My Benjamin and her Ricky were classmates, soccer teammates, and playmates. Our sons had kept their friendship into adulthood, but it had been years since I’d had a chance to really talk to Trina. After boasting about boys and catching up on careers, the conversation wandered toward my former husband. “I remember when I first heard about your divorce,” Trina said. “I was shocked.” I unconsciously held my breath.
Read More
« Prev1234567Next »

Archives