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September Celebration

September 19, 2013 /
I leaned over to my client and whispered, “If I leave the courtroom suddenly, it’s because I’m in labor.”  She was the mother of three, so I knew she would understand. Earlier that morning my body gave clear signs that “this was the day” I would give birth to my first child. My client had waited for months for her court date. She was desperate for child support, this was the day, and I was determined there be no further delay. It was September 20, 1983, well before the era of cell phones for every day living. It was the
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Parsing Out Parenthood

August 1, 2013 /
In the last few years, several states across the country – including Nebraska – have raised the question about parenthood after divorce.  Legislators, judges, lawyers, psychologists, mediators and parents are asking, “What is best for children of divorce?”  Views differ wildly on how custody and parenting time should be shared in a post-divorce family. This year the Nebraska Legislature considered LB 22, a bill creating a presumption of joint physical and joint legal custody.  I now serve on a statewide committee of lawyers and judges (some who supported LB 22) formed to evaluate and critically examine custody and parenting time
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Picture Perspective

July 25, 2013 /
When your grown children live several states away from you, a visit from them is precious. My youngest and his girlfriend are here with me now. Both are studying for bar exams, so I delight in the chance to be the supportive mom to the studious. During one of their evening study breaks, the three of us found ourselves sitting next to one another on the sofa, flipping through pages of photo albums from the days when adoring parents slipped memories into plastic sleeves inside little floral covered books.  I noticed myself holding my breath to hear my child’s reflections
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Being a Believer

July 18, 2013 /
My daughters went to their first concert this month and I missed it.  Last December, their dad and I decided it would be their gift from Santa Claus.  He was Santa this past year and in charge of making the purchase.  I knew all along I would not be accompanying them.  I felt the sting when the initial decision was made, but I knew I had 7 months to get over it. I also had sufficient time to figure out how I would participate in some small way for this momentous and fun occasion.  We went shopping to pick out
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Father’s Day – Make Every Moment Count

June 13, 2013 /
Susan and Angela are pleased to welcome their fellow attorney, Philip Katz, as Guest Blogger to give a Father’s Day perspective on the resilience of children and what matters most. He never came. I sat on the front steps waiting for him, kicking stones and examining my fingernails for what seemed like an eternity. My mother implored me to come inside, but I refused. Finally, as the sun disappeared into the distance, I retreated inside. He hadn’t come. Again. From age two to adulthood, I may have spent a year of time with my father, collectively. Today I am a
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The Last Day

May 30, 2013 /
The last day of school always has a magical quality to it.  It measures a season of growth complete.  It marks the fresh start of summer fun and leisure.  It means that change is afoot with the sprouting of sunflowers and lengthening of bedtimes.  My girls and I look forward to the last day of school each year.  To honor the day, I excitedly wrap up a pair of sparkly flip flips for each of my daughters along with some summer reads.  Tonight, we completed “Our Summer Bucket List” wherein we identified all of the fun we intend to have
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The Rest of the Story

May 23, 2013 /
The outcome seemed so wrong. Sandy was a loving mom. Bright, creative. Her nature was to nurture. She made home cooked meals. She grew a garden in the back yard of her small but tidy house. She believed the home should be peaceful but joyful and child focused. How did she lose custody of her only child—ten year old Amanda? It’s not that George was a bad father. He was just a different type of parent. He lived in an apartment and made fast food a regular diet. He had changed roommates once again. While Amanda like to read books
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Mothers

May 9, 2013 /
I knew since I was a young child, that I would be a mom.  Having my daughters is my greatest life intention fulfilled.  I delight in motherhood.  I love finding their random socks in my drawers, braiding their hair into pigtails and reading them stories in my best English accent.  And I, like every single parent I represented over the years, was devastated by thought of how divorce would impact their sweet smiling faces.  Parents universally feel the sting – but the focus of this blog will be on mothers in tribute to Mother’s Day this weekend. For some mothers,
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Happy Even After

February 7, 2013 /
My ex-husband got engaged last month.  Suddenly I felt my reaction being watched.  Maybe watched isn’t the right word – but paid attention to.  I observed that people would mention it with slight hesitation or were inclined perhaps to bring it up in an almost a negative way.  Those people in my life who care about me were testing the waters to make sure this news did not hurt, bother, or annoy me. The truth is it did not.  Not in the least.  My former spouse and I have kept open lines of communication since our divorce, for the benefit
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Seeing Sesame

January 24, 2013 /
Sesame Street has decided to include a divorce resource in its series of online tool kits under the “Little Children, Big Challenges” initiative.  I applaud the efforts of this societal giant in early education programming, taking on divorce as the reality that children from 40% of married households may face at some time in their childhood. My daughters were 5 and 7 when their dad and I told them we would be divorcing.  We made the decision to tell our girls together.  We knew their primary concern would be what the impact on them would be.  We prepared.  We had
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