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Making Resolutions Real

January 3, 2013 /
The start of the year is an exciting time to be a coach.  Fired up about the year ahead, people are looking to make it a great one.  When asked about my own New Year resolutions, most are surprised when I don’t get overly excited about this well meaning tradition. It’s not that I’m against New Year resolutions.  After all, what can be bad about declaring that you’re going to be nicer to your cousin or eat more kale?  At the start of a new year we like to express our longing to be better and do better.  So why
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Protecting the Precious

December 20, 2012 /
Few longings run more deeply than the one to guard our young children from harm. Before we even leave the hospital with our tiny bundle, we know our job is to ensure their safety at all times. We worry about our children. The primal urge to protect causes sleepless nights at the report of a toddler bite at day care, the thought of the first day of kindergarten, or the absence of an invitation to a first grader’s birthday party. We would gladly suffer the pain ourselves rather than witness our children suffer. We do our best to protect them.
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Non-Holidays

November 29, 2012 /
The holiday season is upon us and for those of us divorced moms and dads, the holidays inevitably mean some of the upcoming days may be tinged with sadness, angst or downright Scrooge-ish behavior.  Recently I confronted the question of what holidays really mean.  I was forced to assess my own rigidity when it comes to holiday traditions and celebrations. A few weeks ago, my former spouse and co-parent mentioned switching weekends around the Thanksgiving holiday because he was travelling to Texas to visit his parents.  His plan was to drive.  Our daughters had not seen their grandparents whom they
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Thanksgiving

November 21, 2012 /
Among the many gifts my mother left me was the capacity to be perpetually grateful.  When bestowed with the smallest act of kindness, she felt treated like royalty.  Someone who offered her a seat on the bus or a cup of coffee was spoken of with high esteem for days to follow. My mother’s family lost their Nebraska farm land in the Great Depression when she was ten. With her 8th grade education, she left home at 16 to work as a housekeeper.  She married and lived in and out of poverty with my alcoholic father. She bore eight children
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Back to School

August 23, 2012 /
My daughters, Sophia and Anna (from left to right), went back to school this week.  Sophia shyly, but excitedly, went to her 1st grade line and Anna confidently strode into her 3rd grade classroom with ease.  For me, I would consider it a personal best in terms of emotion control.  I actually applied mascara in the morning feeling the likelihood of tears was fairly non-existent as I technically no longer have babies going off to school.  They are big girls now.  I was relieved that when it came time to watch them go, I only felt happy and proud of
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Protective Parents

August 16, 2012 /
So much about her reminded me of myself at 19.  A sophomore in college with straight long brown hair parted in the middle, she was an eager learner and a hard worker with a sunny attitude.  With the return of fashions from the ‘70s, even her white eyelet dress and dangling feather earrings made me smile at the memory of those years. Lauren talked about her parents, her younger brother she was close to, and her upcoming visit to New York. She was headed to the big apple to work side by side her aunt in a theatre. Her grandparents
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Divorce Deal: It Takes Two

July 19, 2012 /
It was headline news last month when Katie Holmes, 33, filed for divorce from Tom Cruise after five years of marriage.  Disappointing the tabloids, they reached a settlement just eleven days later. In contrast to the divorce drama of other famous couples, these two came to agreement in record time.  This included not only financial matters, but also the custody of their six year old daughter. Rare is the divorce that settles in a matter of days, or even weeks, especially where one of the parties (Mr. Cruise in this case) reports the divorce as a surprise.  In a typical
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Dad Day

June 14, 2012 /
My dad is one of my personal heroes.  I remember when I was a little girl, my mom would take me and my brother and sister to the flight line to watch my dad’s plane arrive from whatever faraway place he had been stationed.  My dad was a pilot in the Air Force.  He would get off the plane in his green flight suit and he was my hero.  My mom is shocked to this day that I do not have a recollection of how much my dad was away during my childhood.  He was gone four weeks, home six,
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Family of Choice

May 10, 2012 /
Growing up the fifth of eight children, I never fully appreciated the notion of wanting to add extra people to your family.  Why would you want another brother if you already had five? After law school, I returned from Boston to Omaha where all of my family, save one brother, still lived. I never lacked for the opportunity to be with family on any Christmas, birthday, or Fourth of July. My husband’s family lived here, too, and our children grew up on my mother-in-law’s famous sit down holiday dinners for 20. Family changes when you divorce. You lose more family
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The Nest

May 3, 2012 /
In early April I discovered a momma robin had made her nest in the pergola over my deck.  She had tucked her baby’s home in the corner by my sparkly lights.  I checked on her every day.  She chattered at me from the nearby tree if I came out when she was not perched on her egg – warning me to go away.  Her nest was beautiful and intricate with all of the tree branches woven tight and spare grasses forming a soft cradle.  I could not see the egg inside because it was too high up and, the truth
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