Angela Dunne’s reflections on the “last days” experienced during divorce.
Today is the last day of school for yet another year that flew by in the blink of an eye. The last day of school signifies the end of a season. My girls and I look forward to this day each year. To mark the fresh start of summer fun and leisure, I wrap up a pairs of sparkly flip flips for my daughters along with some new summer reads.
The last day of school is also tinged with sadness. Tear-filled eyes say goodbyes to friends and teachers for the summer. The comfort of routine is quickly lost to carefree and relaxed rules. The structured school days give way to time melted away at the pool.
During divorce we have lots of “last days.” The last day living in the house with your spouse, the last day seeing your children daily, the last day sharing a bank account, the last day using your married name, the last day having health insurance, the last day living by your neighbors, the last day marking “married” on a box, the last day feeling secure.
I did not relish or look forward to any of these last days. In fact, I mostly dreaded them. Looking back I see that by shedding those last days, I was able to move forward on different paths for my life. I have done things and met people I never would have, had I not transitioned through my divorce. At the time I could not have seen that, nor did I have the capacity to draw upon the celebration of those last days like I do for the ending of a school year.
I am not suggesting here that anyone will ever have the capacity to cheer on the last days that are presented in divorce. But I am attempting to impart some of my forward-looking-back wisdom, to let you know that your journey is not over. You are transitioning through the confines of a larger picture that you simply cannot see – yet. But you will. In a few months, after you have moved through the markers of those dreaded days, you will look anew. In hindsight, you will celebrate having made it through the last days and will look forward to those about to unfold.