I get nervous just thinking about it – all of my co-workers rating me in all areas of my professional performance.  Do I keep my promises?  Do I approach my work with enthusiasm?  Do I listen without interrupting?

Every year I must remind myself why I actively choose to put myself through a performance review. Founded on the principle “look, see, tell the truth, take authentic action,” our firm coach, Susan, teaches us that to move toward growth and betterment these four steps are key.  Performance reviews help us pause to look.  Our co-workers and supervisors help us see and tell the truth.  With feedback we identify opportunities to move toward improvement.

This past week I found myself reflecting on how this exercise may support us in a holistic view of our life – particularly during a period of struggle.

How would you rate yourself in these categories?  How would your family and friends rate you in the same categories?

How are you showing up for your children?

Are you present to their individual emotions during this time?

Are you inadvertently involving them in the litigation to their detriment?

Are you listening to them without interruption?

Are you mindful of their needs as opposed to yours?

How are you doing with self-care?

Are you allowing extra sleep and rest more to restore your energy?

Are you moving your body to expel stressors?

Are you creating quiet time for grieving or planning your next actions?

Are you paying attention to your finances?

Have you looked at your finances honestly?

Have you reduced “want” spending during this time of financial transition?

Have you created a revised and realistic budget?

Are you practicing self-compassion?

Are you letting in support from those family members and friends who know you best and truly ease your suffering?

Are you quieting your inner critic knowing that this is a temporary season that will pass and now requires being gentle with yourself?

As with any performance review, the questions may seem overwhelming.  A few may jump off the page at you as you identify one or two areas that you know need attention.  I encourage you to focus on those and identify a minuscule step.

Most importantly, I hope you will review your performance the way I hope my co-workers will review mine – truthfully, thoughtfully and compassionately.

Angela Dunne

CategoryDoing Divorce