Category: Doing Divorce

He is free-spirited.  He is spontaneous.  He doesn’t use his calendar to track activities.  He lives his life with confidence that the next step forward will take him where he needs to be – wherever that may be.  His thoughts are mostly the after kind. She is organized.  She is predictable.  She is meticulous in her planning and preparation. Her life is well-managed in all its details.  She has already started filling out her 2018 planner along with an outline of goals. You know the story – opposites attract.  They fall in love.  Wed.  Then divorce.  Now they find themselves

I laughed out loud more than once while Sasha opened gifts at her baby shower.  “Thank goodness you gave a toy, otherwise the baby would only have boxes to play in!”  “Will this baby nighttime sound machine drown out the crying?”  “Will I get to wear sleep sacs to bed, too?”  I sensed her funny acknowledgments serving to mask her mounting anxiety about the birth date fast approaching. For this soon-to-be first time mom, each and every bow untied brought her closer to the realization that her baby would soon be here.  The enormity of how her life was about

I spy the basket full of folded newspaper pages. They are the pages pulled from The Oregon Coast Today and Lincoln City News Guard – two local papers my dad picks up from the grocery store on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  In my six-month absence from a coastal visit, the accumulation is large.  Comprised only of 5 star or highest difficulty puzzles, my dad has silently offered the challenge and I feel wonderfully loved.  It takes me back to the beginning of this tradition with my dad from another spring break visit with him on the coast.  Eleven years ago, when

It started slowly. I started getting sick to my stomach prior to plane trips.  And then I was nauseous on road trips.  The triggers were random and illogical given my lifelong love of travel.  It took me a while to notice and connect the dots given my travel time was no less than months in between trips.  When additional triggers started, I decided I should see a doctor (after my mom told me to). I had good blood pressure, my pulse was also normal, and the blood panel results showed a solid row of normal.  She asked about my lifestyle.

I found myself careening down a mountain, my hands gripping the steering wheel, and rarely uttered prayers slipping out of my mouth up toward the heavens.  The gas gauge read 0 miles.  Zero. None. No more.  I had already gone 7 miles on 0 miles of gas left in my tank and panic was setting in.  This had never happened to me.  By sheer will alone I am sure, I coasted into a tiny gas station in middle-of-nowhere Oregon to refill my tank.  I started to cry once I plugged the gas pump into my tank.  Pure relief and something more surprising washed over

Sophia wanted her turn.  We sat at the dinner table going through our days and she was anxious to share.   It was a 7th grade drama – a mild version of mean girls.  Sophia set the scene.  “We were playing a trick on Josie and hiding her book.  I don’t know why.  It’s just a thing.  So I told her I had her book.  I didn’t.  So I don’t know why I said it, but that’s what I told her.”  I could see the snowball forming as she moved through her story.  “Sophia, you are too dumb to have my

I get nervous just thinking about it – all of my co-workers rating me in all areas of my professional performance.  Do I keep my promises?  Do I approach my work with enthusiasm?  Do I listen without interrupting? Every year I must remind myself why I actively choose to put myself through a performance review. Founded on the principle “look, see, tell the truth, take authentic action,” our firm coach, Susan, teaches us that to move toward growth and betterment these four steps are key.  Performance reviews help us pause to look.  Our co-workers and supervisors help us see and

She was troubled by her eighth grade essay assignment for school: to write about a significant challenge she had faced in life.  She would be reading this essay in front of her class.  “But I haven’t had a major challenge,” she bemoaned to her teacher.  “Anna, aren’t your parents divorced?” As she relayed this to me, privately I felt proud that she needed that reminder – that she didn’t consider having divorced parents as being a challenge.  I was scooting toward being self-congratulatory and smug until she told me she thought that would be a good topic to write about.

I could tell you a love story. But this is a divorce blog. However, for context and fun, I will write you some of the good bits (with his permission, of course). I noticed his arrival across the outdoor pavilion that mid-August evening where my future fellow law school classmates were mingling and meeting for the first time before our classes started the following Monday. He approached with his big smile outlined by deep dimples.  I was instantaneously smitten. If love at first sight exists, this is the closest I have ever been. He was a year ahead of me in

We woke early with our mission in mind.  On this misty morning, we found the tide reaching as far back into the ocean as possible.  We walked quickly on the smooth, sand-soaked surface to discover this spot of local magic.  Here in the tiny town of Neskowin, Oregon (population 134) – just past Proposal Rock – we ventured to Ghost Forest. Ghost Forest reveals the remnants of an ancient spruce forest.  It is presumed that the trees were likely abruptly lowered due to an earthquake and then were covered by mud from landslides or debris from a tsunami.  The forest reappeared in