“How are you?” she asked with sweet sincerity.  Should I say? Should I be truthful? I pause ever so slightly.   “I’m good.”   I pause again.  “Really good,” I say, trying not to sound too enthusiastic.  This year caring inquiries have come from cousins across the country and Facebook friends not seen for years. An extrovert, I’ve lived long enough to amass an abundant army of people who want…

“You use gratitude like cocaine,” she said. Her observation was as calm as if she were saying “The sky is blue today.”  My mentor often shared wisdom I eagerly embraced. But the suggestion that I had been sticking the numbing needle of thanksgiving in my veins silenced me.  Gratitude has long been my great go to. I had just shared what was going well in my life. My busy law firm….

I stride past the multitude of campaign signs, the one red, white and blue one that says “Polling Place Here.”  A handful of men pace away the cold with hands in their jackets as they wait for the doors to open. I immediately spot the inspector. A short woman in a red polo, she appears…

Her words would not leave me. Intended as a compliment, they felt strangely disturbing.                 “You’ve got it all together.” I replayed the words in my head for a week. Was I a source of comparison, envy, or inspiration? My friend, 20 plus years my junior, sees my life in the present and from the…

Decades before ThredUp, Poshmark, or even EBay were where millions shopped second hand, I was a thrifter. As a student on work study or a waitress saving for a trip to Barcelona, my fashion fix fit within my Goodwill budget. Unlike a quick click on my laptop to indulge in an instant Amazon acquisition, thrifting…

We argued about the garlic in the guacamole. He stormed outside. I stood at the bathroom mirror focusing my shaking hand on my mascara. I heard the front door open and his footsteps coming up the stairs. He opened the bathroom door, punched me in the stomach, and calmly said, “Now you can tell your friends I’m…

Sales of sweatpants up. Sales of suits down. Standards are shifting. Selections from drawers and closets are simply not the same in our virtual and remote worlds.  Expectations are different, too. Tardiness to a training, once taken as a sign of disrespect, now simply means Alex had to let their dog out to pee at the last minute.  Logically we know that in the context of the coronavirus our ideas of how we must perform cannot…

Each week at 7:55 a.m. I hit “Send”. My weekly ritual is intended help to my coworkers living in these times. My Teeny Tiny Tuesday Tips range from how to do 4 x 4 deep breathing to how to make mini-habits.  By Thursday it had already been a challenging week. I’d just returned from seeing a friend with early onset dementia. That afternoon while on Zoom (preparing to facilitate a panel on ethics in a pandemic),…

“I’m surprised by the depth of my sadness,” I say, tears falling from eyes still swollen from the news of the day before. “She meant a lot to a lot of people who fought for justice, especially for the oppressed,” my sweetheart comforts.  Yes. A lot. From little girls to longtime lawyers.  One gift of the many past deaths of those I cherished is that loss of a life—no matter how extraordinary— can be seen…

“What did you wear?” she asked enthusiastically. It was a sweet acknowledgment that the talk I’d given that day was of some import. “Wait. Let me guess. You wore black.” I chuckled at the teasing of my friend knowing my closet is full of black dresses, black shirts, and black skirts. In my immediate defense…

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