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Month: February 2024

February 2024

A House and A Home

Immediately I prickled. My well-trained and mostly dormant Irish temper flared inside of a nanosecond. I hit delete. The comment to a blog I posted about parenting in separate households read: “Joint custody is terrible for children. They never have a home.” I opened a new fresh document and furiously (and indignantly) filled the page with 400 words about how my daughters have a loving, cheerful, comfortable home.  A home filled with cats and memories and their old artwork on the walls. As a Taurus, my primordial instincts to stubbornly protect the home I am proud of, flexed so fast
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Keep Your Divorce Confidential: 5 Tips for Protecting Your Attorney Client Privilege

Communications between you and your lawyer are protected by one of your rights known as the attorney-client privilege. The purpose of the attorney-client privilege is to encourage you to disclose all relevant information related to your case to your attorney by protecting certain disclosures from being revealed at a hearing or trial. This privileged information remains private and confidential between you and your attorney (and your legal team), unless the privilege is waived by voluntary disclosure to third parties. To ensure that communications between you and your lawyer remain confidential, and to protect against losing such privilege, below are tips
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4 Most Common Questions Regarding Alimony in Nebraska

One of the most common fears spouses have about an impending divorce is whether they will be required to pay alimony or if they will be eligible to receive alimony.  In Nebraska there is not a specific calculation that can be used to plug in income, expenses, and length of marriage and reveal how much alimony will be paid and for how long.  Rather, an award of alimony is left to the discretion of the judge or negotiating between the parties.  There are several factors the court may consider when making an alimony determination, but the outcome will be most
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When Does It Get Easier?

 “One last question.” She paused. “When does it get easier?”    For a good hour we’d reviewed her goals, timelines, and action steps. An energetic entrepreneur, she’d left her lucrative but grueling job at the insurance company to strike out on her own. She’d managed to get a steady stream of clients, pay down debt, and develop a reputation as a brilliantly insightful consultant.   But life wasn’t any easier. She recently recovered from surgery, had a niece now diagnosed with cancer, and was implementing new software for her business. She was worn out and overwhelmed.   I resisted the hollow words of
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How to Keep Your Credit Intact Following a Divorce

It is not the fact of a divorce itself that can hurt your credit; marital status is not included in a credit report nor is it used to factor your credit score.  It’s when a divorce causes financial problems like late or missed payments that your credit can be damaged.  Keeping your debt down and your payments current are the two vital keys to keeping your credit score from being seriously dinged after divorce.  Here are some tips on how to keep your credit in good standing: Match your lifestyle to your income.  Adjusting to life on one income instead
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Let’s Talk

Cozy on the sofa under the heavy throw, a thick stack of Sunday newsprint sat on my lap and my small pot of tea joined us on the coffee table nearby. Bliss.  I relished the precious hours of the week when neither the calendar nor calls threatened interruption. Church-going was history and meditation not yet my practice. My outstretched arms leisurely turned pages from headlines about war to highlights about fashion.  I sat up in a start. One story struck my spine like a minister warning me of burning in hell: an analysis of millions of books had revealed not
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The Favorite

“Why does everyone think we have a favorite?” Sophia said.  Anna replied, “Yeah.  It’s like asking a parent if they have a favorite child.  Everyone knows you can’t pick and that you love them the same.”  In a rare moment, my girls sat on the kitchen stools chatting happily at me while I made dinner.  Topics moved from homework to plans with friends and took a surprising turn when, after asking about my day, they started talking about being kids of divorced parents. My daughters obviously know my profession and they also know that I often write parenting advice for
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Do’s and Don’ts for Divorcing Parents

DO’s DO tell your children they are still loved and that they are not getting divorced from their parents. Remind your children that they still have the right to love each of their parents. They don’t need to choose sides. DO encourage your children to communicate with you about how they are feeling. Your children may feel angry, sad, or confused, and they have the right to have these feelings. Keep an open line of communication so they know they have a safe space to express their feelings. DO maintain as many family traditions as possible. Although your family is
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Out of My League

Portland Marathon on the back of her shirt hit me like a billboard shouting EXIT HERE!  Six weeks earlier, inspired by the scale displaying the upper end of my annual winter weight, I’d signed up to run a 10k.   I’d no sooner put my plan in place when headlines read Spring Fails to Start in the Midwest. Shivering sleet and snow substituted for the hoped-for season of cool mornings and sunny afternoons.  Respite from the weather came during a beach week with friends. I pledged a daily run.  Chill and rain followed me to the coast, but persistence meant progress.
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New Beginnings

I love new beginnings.  I delight in shaking the Etch-A-Sketch clear and starting over.  I appreciate every month flipping the calendar to a fresh start.  I enjoy crawling into bed when freshly laundered sheets await.  I particularly enjoy the start of a new year when I spend days preparing pages of goals for the upcoming year.  Well, a divorce can change that. During a divorce, every single layer of life is changed.  And I mean – every. single. one.  New beginnings are everywhere.  Although in the middle of life-altering upheaval, they don’t feel like new beginnings – the just feel
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