For as long as I can remember I have enjoyed setting goals and reaching them.
Whether it was saving a sum of money for college or throwing a birthday party for a friend, I got a kick out of making a plan and making it happen.
Each year I set enthusiastic goals. Each goal has a deadline for completion before the end of year holidays. I declare these weeks a sacred time.
To be sacred means to be dedicated to a specific purpose. I dedicate the final weeks of each year to creating a season of joy and meaning. I decorate, host an annual fundraiser for our local AIDS organization, attend joyful soirees, cherish time with friends and family, and take in the beauty of the city bejeweled with twinkling lights.
In years gone by, I had many an exhausted December. My crankiness increased as I tried to maintain ”business as usual” while adding all of the extras of the holiday season. Now I set aside ambitious writing deadlines, workout schedules, and home projects in the interest of a heartfelt and fun few weeks.
A divorce consumes vast amounts of energy on every level. Countless hours are spent gathering financial information. Our bodies are stressed by everything from doing chores our spouse used to do to sorting and packing up household goods. Emotions are drained as we grieve the loss of our dreams and our family traditions of the season.
Being intentional about dedicating time for rest, rejuvenation, and reflection ensures that the minutes, hours, and days of your life are consumed with more than your divorce process. If time is not specifically set aside, we can be assured it will be otherwise filled. We can feel more overwhelmed than ever and even the sight of cheery shoppers can deepen our despair.
Devoting any amount of time to restore yourself can have a big impact. A weekly phone call with a friend who makes us laugh or a short after dinner walk can lift our spirits for hours. A half hour soak in the tub on Monday nights or a Sunday afternoon nap while our children are with their other parent can help sustain us for the remainder of the week.
Have you set aside any sacred time as you go through your divorce? It may be as big as a week of vacation or as small as the final 15 minutes to journal before your weary head hits the pillow. Plan it in advance. Put it in your calendar. Keep it sacred.
Whether it is big or small, may you select some sacred time just for you this season.
Coach Koenig
