A letter to the moms I have worked with over the last 20 years

Dear Moms,

I have been watching you for years.  I have been listening to your struggles. I have been hearing your hope.  You have been teaching me strength, grit, persistence, passion, and loyalty.  You have been showing me the path of motherhood and I thank you.

I see you reach for the tissue when you mention your child’s name the first time we meet in my office.  I hear you struggling with the decision to disrupt your intact family for a better life in the future, but at a cost for you and your children now.

I see some of you stay in unhappy marriages for the sake of your special needs child needing structure and routine.  I see some of you enduring emotional abuse that has led to physical abuse, because you cannot imagine sending your child to him alone without you there to protect.

I hear you resolve to take on yet another job to make ends meet as a single mother.  I hear you sacrifice a college class so that your children can attend summer camp.  I notice the time stamps of your emails in the wee hours of the morning because this is the only time after a full day of work and parenting that you can respond to me.

I see you sit in courtrooms holding back tears and managing relentless anxiety about how your children will manage the new parenting time schedule.  I know you are scheduling and managing countless counseling appointments making your children a top priority as you deplete your paid-time-off account for their benefit.

I know you are biting your tongues and managing fear when the step-mom arrives.  I know you are persisting despite being disadvantaged when you open your hearts to your children brought to you through a marriage.

I see you spending thousands of dollars to fight for the best interests of your sons and daughters.  I hear you when you say you do not care about the property or division of retirement accounts – you just want your children to be okay.

I see you move into a new independence.  I see the pictures of you and your children thriving.  I hear your stories of the relief felt in your new family.  How you and your kids find a new cadence in life and it is bliss-filled.  I see you owning your ever-changing role of motherhood.

You are the mothers that have guided me.

I hear you.  I see you.  I stand by you.

With much gratitude,

Your divorce lawyer

CategoryDoing Divorce
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