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Month: May 2012

May 2012

Big Blue

"You can put your money in my children's college fund or your children's college fund. It's up to you." As a divorce lawyer, I spoke these words many times. Any time a client considered waging a costly war in the courtroom over simple household items, I invited them to look at where they wanted to invest their dollars. I would give my best advice, but the decision was ultimately up to the client. You want to fight over the rocking chair and the cookie jar? Not a problem. Part of the lawyer’s job, I believe, is to help the client
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Leaving its Mark

Today was the day. On what would have been our fifteenth wedding anniversary I remove the delicate yellow and white gold band from the third finger of my left hand. It had been my mother’s.  I was never much for diamonds, and happily wore this modest symbol of my commitment for the entire world to see. Today I remove its magical and protective powers with a small tug on my hand and a big one on my heart. Being married conveys instant status in our culture.  Like being born white or able bodied or straight, it bestows upon us an
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Handle With Care

I am all packed up and moving out of my life.  For the past 2 weeks I have been packing up my former marital residence.  I have been digging into every corner and closet, uncovering clutter and along with it, hundreds of memories.  I located the sticky note my former husband gave me with his phone number (yes, before the days when we could simply bump iPhones).  I found every wedding receipt and to-do list.  I found the journal I kept when we were expecting our first daughter and cards we exchanged over the years.  I found all the heartbreak
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Family of Choice

Growing up the fifth of eight children, I never fully appreciated the notion of wanting to add extra people to your family.  Why would you want another brother if you already had five? After law school, I returned from Boston to Omaha where all of my family, save one brother, still lived. I never lacked for the opportunity to be with family on any Christmas, birthday, or Fourth of July. My husband’s family lived here, too, and our children grew up on my mother-in-law’s famous sit down holiday dinners for 20. Family changes when you divorce. You lose more family
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The Nest

In early April I discovered a momma robin had made her nest in the pergola over my deck.  She had tucked her baby’s home in the corner by my sparkly lights.  I checked on her every day.  She chattered at me from the nearby tree if I came out when she was not perched on her egg – warning me to go away.  Her nest was beautiful and intricate with all of the tree branches woven tight and spare grasses forming a soft cradle.  I could not see the egg inside because it was too high up and, the truth
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