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Month: May 2014

May 2014

Comparison Control

“It’s not fair!” wailed the ten year old, doubling over with the pain of it, tears welling up in pleading brown eyes. “Jimmy got a bigger cookie!” We’ve all seen it. The lament at the lack of justice. Suffering in the face of unfairness.  We’ve all been it. Whether the words come out of our mouth or remain contained in the bubble above our head, we compare and declare, “It’s not fair.” “It’s not fair that he gets to stay in the house and I am forced to be in a lousy apartment.”        “It’s not fair that her work schedule
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Mom Guilt

I have a confession.  I love my weekends without my girls.  As I pressed the period to end that sentence, Mom Guilt wants to delete it.  Mom Guilt starts asking questions like “Can you really admit that in public?”  “Do you love your children?”  “Do you think you are a good mom?”  Then Mom Guilt makes me look down in shame to even consider stating so boldly that I am okay with not having my children every minute of my life. And because I am feeling so guilty now, I really have to indulge in some qualifiers.  I love my
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Permitting Parents

The quiet rain was soothing. I rolled over, pulled the covers up to my chin, and felt entitled to indulge myself on this Mother’s Day morning. When my phone announced a message, I sat up in happy anticipation and reached for my glasses. Hi Ben, just a gentle reminder that today is Mother’s Day. I hope you have a great day remembering and thinking about your mom…Love, Dad My celebration of Mother’s Day this year was rich. Over the course of a few days it included flowers, sweet expressions of appreciation, a Mediterranean dinner, time with an elderly mother who
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Mindfulness in Motherhood, A Message for Moms

My daughter Sophia tugs the ears of people she loves.  It started when she was a baby, as I nursed her she would reach up and pull at my ear.  As she got older, she would suck her thumb and tug at her own ear or the ear of any loved one nearby.  Her practice of ear tugging and tugging at our hearts with this gesture continues even today. I recall with clarity the first time I saw Sophia tugging her now stepmom’s ear.  I was coaching Anna’s soccer team and from across the field, I saw Sophia crawl onto
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Remaking May Memories

May is a month of meaningful memories for me. Starting on the very first of May, I remember the days my children celebrated May Day by making tiny baskets to hang for neighbors in our tree lined block. They delighted to hang their surprise on the doorknob, ring the bell, and race away. As a girl growing up Catholic in my Little Italy neighborhood, May was the month to honor the Virgin Mary. Her shrine on my bedroom dresser was an inverted shoe box covered with a lace doily where her veiled figure in her blue and pink gown stood
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