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Month: June 2014

June 2014

Talk About Taboo

“In our house, we don’t do that.”                 “If you want to join us, that behavior is not tolerated.” “We don’t do that here.” Learning how to play in the sandbox, get invited to the party, or fit into a workplace culture. Each requires that we understand the rules. If we follow them, the group lets us stay in the game. If we break the rules, we risk rejection or outright ouster. Teaching what is taboo doesn’t always come from an employee handbook or a friend plainly telling us. We learn from observation. Growing up, my Catholic working class childhood
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Daddy’s Girl

I remember with specificity the types of things my dad taught me growing up:  how to track mileage on a road trip, how to budget and save money, how to change the oil and filter in my car after rotating the tires, how to use the edger and weed whacker, how to color in circles to make my pictures neater, how to take care of my hamster, and how to finish my teenage bedroom in the basement.  I remember these things so clearly because learnings from my dad were special.  Time with my dad was special.  My dad taught me
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Men of Courage

When I was in junior high, sleepovers with girlfriends meant sharing secrets.  Conversation was the main activity, and nothing was off limits. I could reveal my father’s alcoholism, weep over the “boyfriend” of one week who had dumped me, and angst over the upcoming student council election. It was a safe place. My entire life I have enjoyed the luxury of women friends who would listen at any hour and for as many hours as I needed to pour out my heart about everything from mean words from one husband to the impending death of another. I was never alone,
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Let It Go

“Let It Go” has been the theme song playing in my home nonstop since December 25th when my youngest received the soundtrack from Santa.  As a result, I have found myself with more frequency using that as a response to more situations than I probably should.  For those of you unfamiliar with the song, it is meant to inspire, born from the idea that letting go is an act of reclaiming freedom.  “Let it go” is advice often provided by well-intentioned friends and family during divorce.  They propose that you just need to let it go to move toward healing. 
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