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Month: December 2014

December 2014

New Year View

I felt silly thinking twice about what to wear to dinner at the home of my former husband. It has been over thirty years since the holiday season when Benjamin was our newborn baby. This year, Ben was on break from grad school at NYU and throwing a dinner party at his father’s. I was on the guest list. I love to dress up for parties of any sort, but for this soiree I opted for my comfortable gray sweater, the sparkling jeweled necklace from my stepdaughter, and my newest red lipstick.  Ben  asked me to bring  extra forks. I
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I would have been about 13 years old the year Virginia Johnston taught me about gifts.  You see, that Christmas Day in 1988, I was pouting in our family church pew.  “Our” church pew was positioned to the right of the altar and two rows from the front – the pew right next to the piano that Mrs. Johnston played while her husband preached.  I was in her direct sight line with my arms crossed and a scowl painted on my face.  The scowl was a result of Santa not bringing me the coveted Guess jeans I desired.  My face
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Christmastime Courage

The holiday “To Do” list is long, but one by one the items get crossed off:                         Finish wrapping gifts                         Write checks for tips                         See divorce attorney Every December I am amazed by the courage of those who consult with a divorce attorney in the same month they decorate Christmas cookies.  Holidays can be the most heart-connected time of year with loved ones. Aromas from the kitchen remind us of our own childhood and the “Baby’s First Christmas” ornament causes us to pause and reflect. Holidays also hold expectations. That we will be with our family. That there
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Having History

I wrapped my arms wrapped around each of my daughters as they cozied up to me on the couch the other night while we admired our decorated Christmas tree.  Our tree holds our history both pre and post divorce with the ornaments gathered from each of the years of my girls’ lives.  We laugh as we look back at their Santa’s lap pictures from throughout the years, a couple of which include their parents together from their younger years.  Their dad and I continue to visit Santa together with them every year.  And now our visits include their added family
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Each December a series of tiny treasures arrive in my mailbox. A Cat Lovers Against the Bomb calendar. A refrigerator magnet from my favorite cinema. Return address labels with snowflakes. Gifts from good causes all hoping to receive a return gift from me. I love making lists, so the penguin and reindeer notepad was about to be saved from the recycle bin when I noticed the personalization, “The Koenig Family, 1266 South 13th Street.” A subtle sadness washed over me as I thought, “No family lives at this address.” “Family” for me has long equaled a husband and children living
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