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Month: October 2019

October 2019

Divorce Survival Guide for Those Over 50

According to recent statistics, approximately 25% of U.S. divorces involve couples over the age of 50.   The incidence of what has become known as “gray divorce” has risen drastically over the past decade, but there are ways you can survive — and even thrive — if you keep these tips in mind: Prepare emotionally and legally.  Even if you have been married for decades, do not expect that you will be treated with the same care you experienced during your marriage by the person you are divorcing.  Divorce is always challenging, so be sure you find a good divorce attorney
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The first time I saw a man punch a woman in the face, I was in high school, in the passenger seat of my boyfriend’s car, looking out the window at the bowling alley we were passing.  I was shocked, horrified, and instantly felt sick to my stomach.  Prior to that moment it had never occurred to me, outside of movies, that someone would be violent toward a person that they were supposed to love and cherish.  That punch was a pivotal moment shaping the woman I have grown into and what ultimately led to my pursuit of a legal
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How to Tell If You Are a Victim of Domestic Abuse

According to the Centers for Disease Control, there are 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men who report having suffered from domestic abuse by a partner.  Domestic abuse is not only physical; you can also be victimized by emotional abuse — name-calling, criticism, harassment, threats, stalking, and other behavior meant to intimidate and control. If you think you may be a victim of domestic abuse, see if any of these five warning signs apply to you: Your partner constantly checks up on you. Abusers prefer to isolate their victims, so if you are feeling cut off from friends
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Why Your #METOO Matters

Her dark hair hung over her face as she furiously took notes. She barely spoke the entire semester. But she heard my “Me too.” My lecture that week in my Women and the Law course was on domestic violence. I wanted these future lawyers to have an understanding beyond the legal definition of “credible threat” and which documents to file at the courthouse.    I wanted them to see that “Why didn’t she leave?” was the wrong question. I also wanted to answer it. We argued about the garlic in the guacamole. He backed me up against the kitchen wall.
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In Love and Loss

She said it in such a whisper I could barely tell she was talking.  “I still love him,” she said with a shiver of shame running over her.  My heart moved over to make room for her.  I had met this sadness before – from the hims and hers who came in throughout the years ahead of her.  They told me about the struggles living with a spouse addicted, with a spouse turned paranoid, or with a spouse now violent.  Their sadness you could nearly cup in your hand it was so palpable.  They sought options to end the cycle
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What is a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO)?

When it comes to property division in a divorce, there are often retirement or pension plans that are on the table to be split between the divorcing spouses. Splitting a qualified retirement plan or pension plan in a divorce requires the preparation of a QDRO (qualified domestic relations order). A QDRO allows for the division of qualified plan assets in a tax-deferred manner for the receiving spouse, and provides that spouse with 60 days in which to roll it over into an IRA without penalty. If you want to take some money out for divorce expenses, you can make a
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Hurt My Child?

I always note the day. Each year on the first Monday of October the United States Supreme Court begins its session. A wave of anxiety annually washes over me as I think of how lives and futures of countless Americans will be changed by decisions placed in the hands of nine people. I have fretted over affirmative action for colleges, reproductive rights for rural women, and how hard the court might make the rules for any sexual harassment victim to get justice. Five years ago, when the freedom to marry for same sex couples case—Obergefell v. Hodges—- was to be
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I was sitting in the hospital waiting room. My friend was getting a new hip and I was happy to await the news of a successful surgery. I’d been doing my best to ignore the latest daily bad news of our country running nonstop on the big screen television when my phone alert popped up. “Oh no,” I said aloud to no one. The television suddenly had my full attention. I stood up to read the news ticker at the bottom of the screen—-Breaking News:  Cokie Roberts Dead at 75. I  go weeks without turning on my television in my
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A Season of Scared

I live in constant fear.  Walking on eggshells, whispering my first words in a conversation and bracing myself when I hear the door shut from their arrival have become the norm.  It started about 2 years ago when my oldest turned 13.  My household now includes a 15 ½ year old and a 13 year old – thus the reason for my perpetual state of panic.  I worry about them driving.  I worry about what is happening on their phones.  I worry about why they don’t talk to me.  I worry about when they do talk to me.  I worry
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