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Month: November 2019

November 2019

Custody of Children When a Divorce is Pending

Nebraska family courts follow guidelines that keep the best interests of the child at the center of legal decisions, and the courts typically believe that children do best when both parents are involved in their lives. Custody does not usually become an issue until one spouse moves out or seeks an order for parenting time prior to moving out.  Following a separation, the court can grant temporary custody and parenting time orders that will be in place until a divorce is final. If one parent is being unreasonable and denying the other parent sufficient time with their children, a judge
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Do or Dream

By the time I was thirteen I’d concluded that dreaming would not get me that hot pink paisley swimsuit with ruffles on display in the junior department of the Brandeis Department store downtown. I’d been babysitting for years and knew that only money from my summer nanny job and a layaway plan would. Instead of dreaming, I set goals and made plans. Set a goal to go to college. Plan to finish in three years. Set a goal to have a 100 people protest. Plan a march and get them there. Set a goal to throw a party. Plan the
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Preservation Paradox

We woke early with our mission in mind.  On this misty morning, we found the tide reaching as far back into the ocean as possible.  We walked quickly on the smooth, sand-soaked surface to discover this spot of local magic.  Here in the tiny town of Neskowin, Oregon (population 134) – just past Proposal Rock – we ventured to Ghost Forest. Ghost Forest reveals the remnants of an ancient spruce forest.  It is presumed that the trees were likely abruptly lowered due to an earthquake and then were covered by mud from landslides or debris from a tsunami.  The forest reappeared in
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4 Ways Children Suffer in a Bad Marriage

Today, divorce is commonplace, but there was a time several decades ago when divorce was considered socially taboo and couples were encouraged to always stay together “for the sake of the children.” Now we know that whether or not divorce is harmful to children depends largely on how it is handled by their parents.  We also know that toxic marriages can cause more harm than good to children.  There are several ways that children suffer when their parents have a bad marriage; here are four of the most common: 1.  Chronic anxiety. Conflicts in a marriage are internalized by children,
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Taught by Time and Tim

His rail thin body looked childlike under the sheets. At 35 his once muscular body could no longer stand without someone holding him up.  AIDS was about to take his life. The lessons I learned from my brother Tim that November were lost on me then. 25 years later, I see. I didn’t know that learning how to pull back the plunger on a syringe to the precise centimeter or how to manage a morphine pump would be essential skills when the man I would marry three years later was on his death bed. I didn’t know there was a
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What Divorcing Women Need to Know About Alimony

For many women who face a divorce, the prospects of having to live on half of what used to support you both is frightening — especially for women who have stayed at home to raise the children and now face the prospect of having to look for outside employment. Alimony is not a given in any divorce.  In Nebraska, the court will look at a number of factors in making a decision about the need for alimony and the amount to be awarded.  Under Nebraska Revised Statute 42-365, these factors include: the financial circumstances of the parties the duration of
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Complicated Confirmation

I dress in my Sunday best. I arrive in time to take a seat next to her mother and grandmother.  I tuck the narrow gold satin ribbon into the page for hymn #483. Simultaneously I’m an outsider and I am at home. It is confirmation day for young Sophia, whom I have known since she was born. She walks slowly down the aisle. Covering her floor-length red robe is a white cape with a red cross and  “PHILOMENA”  in big block letters of red felt. The organ fills  Saint Cecilia’s Cathedral as the procession of the baptized now prepare to
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There was a hole on the wall.  She stared at it with the tears coming anew.  This hole was not the kind that needed spackling and sanding, but the kind that needed time and space to replace the vacancy.  She had just taken down the wedding portrait of her son and now former daughter-in-law.  The divorce decree had been signed and the woman who had frequented their kitchen table would now be permanently absent. There are similar hallways in houses we have all been in.  Black and white photos of founding family members, baby pictures never being replaced to the
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What Issues Can Be Addressed in a Nebraska Prenuptial Agreement?

A prenuptial agreement is essentially a legal contract between prospective spouses that becomes effective once they become married.  The reason pre-nups are so beneficial is that they can provide significant savings in time and money if the couple should divorce in the future, since the issues a court would normally resolve are already addressed in the prenuptial agreement. Some of the most common issues addressed in a Nebraska prenuptial agreement include: The rights and obligations of each spouse when it comes to joint and separate property, including the right to use, sell, lease, transfer, assign, exchange, or control and manage
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Flowers on the altar, photos of loved ones, food that was their favorite—Dia de Los Muertos arrives each November 1 and we celebrate the “Day of the Dead” with friends. We honor those we have loved and lost. We take turns sharing stories and memories of those who’ve left this earth, but their impact remains. Tonight my friend Bill will open his latest showing of art. It will include paintings of those he has loved and lost. Among them will be John, my husband who died eight years ago. John was old enough to be Bill’s father. Had John not
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