Month: May 2023

May 2023

Raw Regret

May 25, 2023 / Doing Divorce

Sophia wanted her turn. We sat at the dinner table going through our days and she was anxious to share. It was a 7th grade drama – a mild version of mean girls. Sophia set the scene. “We were playing a trick on Josie and hiding her book. I don’t know why. It’s just a thing. So I told her I had her book. I didn’t. So I don’t know why I said it, but that’s what I told her.” I could see the snowball forming as she moved through her story. “Sophia, you are too dumb to have my

Garden Gains

May 19, 2023 / NEXT: An Empowerment Series

I felt pressure in the center of my chest. My body spoke intently what my mind was thinking. This hurts a little. We’d planted seeds a week or two before. I am filled with the excitement of a second grader when their little green heads start to poke up out of the darkness. But seeds clumped closely together meant too much competition for water and nutrients, and they’d begun to grow pale and leggy. For the parsley and peppers to thrive, letting go of many of them was necessary. My heart ached as I gently pulled their delicate white roots

Picture Perfect

May 18, 2023 / Doing Divorce

When Santa came to visit my house for Christmas in 1984, he gifted me a Fisher-Price Kids Kodak 110 Film blue camera. It was the second-best Santa gift I ever received next to the “Pretty In Pink” Barbie from 1981. My camera came with a cartridge of eight flashbulbs to use indoors. I fancied myself a photographer while posing my Barbies, my cats, and my favorite Raggedy Ann doll around our backyard. Soon after the first set of prints were picked up from the film developer, my mom bought me my first scrapbook. I meticulously kept scrapbooks from 1984 to

Soggy Cereal

May 11, 2023 / Doing Divorce

I stayed in bed because I knew I was supposed to. I pretended to sleep through the whispered arguments and the clanking of dishes. I peeked out from under the covers to see her proudly carrying the cookie sheet with her Mother’s Day display. I successfully feigned waking up rested and delighted to the breakfast prepared in my honor. How I choked down that very full bowl of soggy Special K, I will never know. My daughters, who were 9 and 7 that year, were trying their very best to make my Mother’s Day memorable. And they did. I will

LILAC LOVE

May 5, 2023 / NEXT: An Empowerment Series

Between the fading fuchsia of the redbud trees and the arrival of the violet iris, I start my lookout. My annual lilac ritual required observation for the ideal day. I waited through spring snow flurries and bouts of impatience; now it was time. The night before I prepare. Double sided red plastic bucket. Garden gloves and clippers. Vases of assorted dimensions selected and filled with water as time would be of the essence. Alarm set for 5:45. For over a decade, I’ve known no other person to clip a branch this row of magnificence other than me. I arrive as

Remission

May 4, 2023 / Doing Divorce

I sucked in every molecule of air in the room when my dad’s doctor confirmed it was prostate cancer. After weeks of testing, we finally had the clarity that comes with results. Despite anticipating this would be the news, the tears streamed down my face. My dad had been through enough in the last seven months by going through two hematoma surgeries on his brain – didn’t he get a pass for this add-on? In the weeks that followed, I took detailed notes and read the summaries for multiple doctor appointments, my mom supported my dad with everything from his