“This day is mine,” I heard myself say aloud. No errands to run. No parties to attend. No plays to see. Even the kitchen floor and the rugs were generously silent. No one to listen to, attend to, or do for. The absence of responsibility brought a lightness to my limbs and a slight smile to my lips as I looked in the mirror and repeated, “All mine.”
I did a few Sunday morning usuals. Meditate. Dance for my workout. Take in an inspirational podcast. I didn’t rush as I read two newspapers while sipping a pot of tea.
An unabashed extrovert making my life in my hometown, most of my days are deliciously full of people. I hear from grade school classmates, law school friends of forty years, and lots of family. Incoming asks are inevitable. Could I talk with someone starting their career? Make a referral? Give some advice? Have a cup of coffee?
But This day was mine. No one to show up for. No one to perform for. No one to disappoint. I relaxed in the sauna, napped, and made a veggie pizza. I listened to music my sweetheart gave me and by sunset felt restored and loved through and through.
But my lie exposed itself in the midst of my day of leisure. If this day was mine, to whom did I claim the other days of my life belonged to?
Whether a faceless person on the phone or a cherished BFF, I enjoy continuous connection to a community that almost always leaves me uplifted with feelings of both belonging and meaning. Untruthful with myself, I’d allowed the illusion that my typical days somehow belonged to someone other than me.
I’d failed to be honest and admit that all of my days and indeed all of my moments are mine. Mine to say yes. Mine to say no. Mine to say maybe. And that one day a week I can choose to let the connection be with myself.
The next morning I was delighted to see the faces of my incredible coworkers, to check my messages, to see meetings on my schedule. Monday was all mine, and it was time to tell the truth that I love a Monday as much as I love a Sunday.
It’s all mine.
Do you ever feel as though your life doesn’t belong to you?
Is it time to reclaim some of your days?
Is there a choice for you to make for connection or reflections?