I say it
every year – regardless of the gradual hike upward in age – I LOVE my
birthday. I love a day designed for
simply celebrating your own unique existence.
This year I charged at my birthday with the same gusto as my
nine-year-old daughter (who coincidentally celebrates her birthday the day
after mine). I went so far as to put the
party planning techniques I have mastered for my daughters’ birthday parties to
use for my own. I hosted a Celebration
of Sparkle in honor of the women in my life who contribute to my sparkle.
My
intentions were threefold: join together
some of my favorite women in one room and let the fun unfold; have an event
around my birthday that I would look forward to, plan for and enjoy every
minute of; and, put a bunch of glitter on stuff all around my house because
that would simply make me happy. I met
each intention and then some.
As I
looked around at the women gathered in my living room, all dressed in their own
bit of sparkle, I saw that I had formed lasting relationships with women at
every stage in my life. There were high
school friends, college friends, law school friends, and friends I had picked
up over the last decade-plus since becoming a professional. And they were all still with me. As a divorced person, we may get the thought
that we don’t know how to make relationships last. I felt affirmed looking at all of the women
with me. I was, in fact, good at lasting
relationships. My full living room
proved it. But until it was staring me
in the face, I had been holding a different and damaging opinion of
myself. I realized one failed
relationship does not make me a failure.
I know
how hard it is to have your first birthday post-divorce. But I now also know how fabulous and fun your
second birthday post-divorce can be with a little bit of focused
intention. I urge you to consider taking
one of the following actions for your birthday this year. Pick the one that
matches your energy level best.
- Throw a party: Even if a party for 1. Make sure that you pause to celebrate you in
a way that is meaningful for your heart.
Whether it means a small dinner with a friend, a picnic in the park with
you and your kids, or a long bath filled to the top with bubbles, pause and
take time to honor you. In the way that
means the most to you. Plan it, schedule
it, mark the time out on your calendar.
Anticipate it and then relish it. - Celebrate your successes: Reflect on the last
12 months of your life. Write down –
yes, I mean physically write down, each and every accomplishment. Write the sad parts that you got past. Write down the things that happened that you
never could have predicted that brought you joy or pain. Write it all down. Look at what you did in the last year. Sit with it.
Cry about it. Laugh about it.
Feel proud. - Write your vision: I urge you to think about your
life a year from now. Be brave and
muster up all the courage you can and look out a year from now. What would be the perfect thing to see? Where do you want to be? Get real and start thinking about the changes
you would like to see, the parts you would like to improve or what absolutely
must stay the same.
Most of all – I wish for you to get back to a point of
celebrating your inner sparkle. It may
be buried now, but it will resurface. I
promise. And there is no better day than
your birthday to start looking for it.
Angela Dunne
In what ways do you most like to
celebrate?
