Month: April 2018

April 2018

Seeking Self-Compassion

April 27, 2018 / NEXT: An Empowerment Series

I can’t believe I did it again. I began so clear. Focused. Attentive. Determined not to repeat my past ways. In a flash my good intentions flew out the window crossing shame as it rushed in to take its place. When will I learn? How many times do I have to repeat this lesson? What’s wrong with me? It’s over quickly. I head to the nearest bathroom to recover. I look myself in the mirror and force down the lump in my throat. For the remainder of the day I cannot remove the image. I struggle to focus on my

Plan Ahead Parents (a/k/a What You Must Know As A Divorced Parent)

April 26, 2018 / Doing Divorce

“Please, there is no other time.” He pled with his ex-wife. In a twist that only divorced parents can appreciate, he was asking her to take their daughters dress shopping for his second wedding. They were leaving for the wedding on Friday – in three days. She sighed, knowing that her daughters needed dresses, but she had obligations on her calendar. His first attempt, two days prior was a complete and total disaster. The girls had arrived home Monday with new dresses. On Tuesday, she asked them to model, only to find the dresses were ill-fitting and too clingy for

Making the Most of Your Settlement Conference

April 24, 2018 / Divorce Made Simple

A settlement conference can be a powerful tool for the resolution of your case. It is a meeting held with you, your spouse, and your lawyers with the intention of negotiating the terms of your divorce. Settlement conferences are most effective when both parties and their attorneys see the potential for a negotiated resolution and have the necessary information to accomplish that goal. Perhaps your attorney has sent a settlement proposal to your spouse’s attorney (or, maybe you’ve received a proposal from your spouse’s attorney). Maybe the attorneys have spoken via phone. You can reach a negotiated settlement through these

Travel Team Extraordinaire

April 20, 2018 / NEXT: An Empowerment Series

I was excited when I got picked for the travel team. Unlike the time in college when I was chosen to go to a bowling tournament in Iowa City to be a body with a hand that could hold a ball, this time I was welcomed warmly. Three of my friends were inspired to substitute the forecast of snow with the sound of the ocean and the sight of spring. We’ve known one another since our children were in Montessori school more than thirty years ago. I was happy at the prospect of a week to write and be with

5 Considerations When Modifying a Parenting Plan

April 17, 2018 / Divorce Made Simple

For divorced parents operating under the provisions of a parenting plan, a need may arise to ask a court to revisit the plan because certain provisions are either antiquated or not working. For example: Parenting time provisions no longer apply because our children are no longer in daycare. The right of first refusal has become a source of conflict between parents. One parent is not exercising his or her parenting time. If you are contemplating a modification of your parenting plan, here are five considerations to keep in mind: The Unexpected Must Have Occurred To modify a parenting plan, Nebraska

Champion of Chances

April 13, 2018 / NEXT: An Empowerment Series

The spring we fell in love I had just declared myself ready to date while he had long declared himself a happy bachelor. Five years later, we each chose to take another chance at enduring love. It was a second for me and a third for John. Despite being older and wiser, marriage remained a risky proposition. He was a tidy minimalist. I was more on the messy side. He lived on an acreage and I in the heart of the city. Three of our children were still school age and our ages were separated by more than a decade.

Securing Your Support Payments

April 10, 2018 / Divorce Made Simple

Your divorce may result in the court ordering two types of support payments – child support and/or alimony. One way to ensure court-ordered is paid in full is to request the payor (the person ordered to pay support) to maintain a life insurance policy. The recipient should be named the beneficiary of the policy and the amount of the policy should be sufficient to satisfy the full amount of support ordered in the event the payor dies. Every support award is comprised of two factors – amount & duration: Alimony: If alimony is awarded in your case, you will know

Map Making

April 6, 2018 / NEXT: An Empowerment Series

The postcard announcing the April event arrived along with the winter weight to my belly. For a runner, five miles is a modest goal. But despite giving running a go a time or two each year, I have never completed a run longer than a 5k (3.1 miles, if you’re like me and don’t know that off the top of your head). This new goal meant going someplace I had never gone before. I’d need a map. Where am I? To create my map, I first needed to know where I was. The last time I went for a run

Four Tips to Help Answer Discovery Requests

April 3, 2018 / Divorce Made Simple

To complete a divorce, a significant amount of information must be exchanged between you and your spouse. What assets do we own? What debts do we owe? What parenting-time schedule would you prefer? Discovery is the legal process of exchanging information. To do so, spouses typically answer two types of requests for information. The first is interrogatories, which asks spouses for written answers to questions. The second is requests for production of documents, which asks spouses to provide specific documents, such as bank statements, loan records, or tax returns. If you are tasked with completing these discovery requests, your attorney