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Month: April 2018

April 2018

Seeking Self-Compassion

I can’t believe I did it again. I began so clear. Focused.  Attentive. Determined not to repeat my past ways. In a flash my good intentions flew out the window crossing shame as it rushed in to take its place. When will I learn? How many times do I have to repeat this lesson? What’s wrong with me? It’s over quickly.  I head to the nearest bathroom to recover. I look myself in the mirror and force down the lump in my throat. For the remainder of the day I cannot remove the image. I struggle to focus on my
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Plan Ahead Parents (a/k/a What You Must Know As A Divorced Parent)

“Please, there is no other time.”  He pled with his ex-wife.  In a twist that only divorced parents can appreciate, he was asking her to take their daughters dress shopping for his second wedding.  They were leaving for the wedding on Friday – in three days.  She sighed, knowing that her daughters needed dresses, but she had obligations on her calendar. His first attempt, two days prior was a complete and total disaster.  The girls had arrived home Monday with new dresses.  On Tuesday, she asked them to model, only to find the dresses were ill-fitting and too clingy for
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Making the Most of Your Settlement Conference

A settlement conference can be a powerful tool for the resolution of your case. It is a meeting held with you, your spouse, and your lawyers with the intention of negotiating the terms of your divorce. Settlement conferences are most effective when both parties and their attorneys see the potential for a negotiated resolution and have the necessary information to accomplish that goal. Perhaps your attorney has sent a settlement proposal to your spouse’s attorney (or, maybe you’ve received a proposal from your spouse’s attorney). Maybe the attorneys have spoken via phone. You can reach a negotiated settlement through these
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Travel Team Extraordinaire

I was excited when I got picked for the travel team. Unlike the time in college when I was chosen to go to a bowling tournament in Iowa City to be a body with a hand that could hold a ball, this time I was welcomed warmly. Three of my friends were inspired to substitute the forecast of snow with the sound of the ocean and the sight of spring. We’ve known one another since our children were in Montessori school more than thirty years ago. I was happy at the prospect of a week to write and be with
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5 Considerations When Modifying a Parenting Plan

For divorced parents operating under the provisions of a parenting plan, a need may arise to ask a court to revisit the plan because certain provisions are either antiquated or not working. For example: Parenting time provisions no longer apply because our children are no longer in daycare. The right of first refusal has become a source of conflict between parents. One parent is not exercising his or her parenting time. If you are contemplating a modification of your parenting plan, here are five considerations to keep in mind: The Unexpected Must Have Occurred To modify a parenting plan, Nebraska
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Champion of Chances

The spring we fell in love I had just declared myself ready to date while he had long declared himself a happy bachelor. Five years later, we each chose to take another chance at enduring love. It was a second for me and a third for John. Despite being older and wiser, marriage remained a risky proposition. He was a tidy minimalist. I was more on the messy side.  He lived on an acreage and I in the heart of the city. Three of our children were still school age and our ages were separated by more than a decade.
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The Challenge

She was troubled by her eighth grade essay assignment for school: to write about a significant challenge she had faced in life.  She would be reading this essay in front of her class.  “But I haven’t had a major challenge,” she bemoaned to her teacher.  “Anna, aren’t your parents divorced?” As she relayed this to me, privately I felt proud that she needed that reminder – that she didn’t consider having divorced parents as being a challenge.  I was scooting toward being self-congratulatory and smug until she told me she thought that would be a good topic to write about.
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Securing Your Support Payments

Your divorce may result in the court ordering two types of support payments – child support and/or alimony. One way to ensure court-ordered is paid in full is to request the payor (the person ordered to pay support) to maintain a life insurance policy. The recipient should be named the beneficiary of the policy and the amount of the policy should be sufficient to satisfy the full amount of support ordered in the event the payor dies. Every support award is comprised of two factors – amount & duration: Alimony: If alimony is awarded in your case, you will know
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Map Making

The postcard announcing the April event arrived along with the winter weight to my belly. For a runner, five miles is a modest goal. But despite giving running a go a time or two each year, I have never completed a run longer than a 5k (3.1 miles, if you’re like me and don’t know that off the top of your head). This new goal meant going someplace I had never gone before.  I’d need a map. Where am I? To create my map, I first needed to know where I was. The last time I went for a run
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Michaela’s Special Story

April is World Autism Month. To learn more, click HERE. Michaela has been a paralegal at Koenig|Dunne for over 3 years.  Michaela is a divorced mom to Grace (16) and Sophia (14).  This is her story as told to me. I knew the minute she was born she was special.  My Sophia with her dark hair and those large expressive eyes I could get lost in for a lifetime. Before she was born I wondered how I could love her as much I loved her older sister, Grace.  Grace had captured my whole entire heart for the two years before
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