Month: December 2018

December 2018

Arlyce Asks

December 21, 2018 / NEXT: An Empowerment Series

Arlyce asked for two things. One: To celebrate on the actual day. Two: Cards. Arlyce was clear. Her birthday falls four days before Christmas. For decades it has been gifts “for your birthday and Christmas” wrapped in Santa paper. She understood that the birth of Jesus trumped her special day. But still. After too many times of feeling like a footnote to Jingle Bells, Arlyce marks this milestone differently. For her 90th Arlyce asked for what she wanted. I admire Arlyce. She zips around in her scooter on her daily walks with her dog Mojo. She lives in an elegantly

Family Flexibility

December 20, 2018 / Doing Divorce

I didn’t want to think about it. Let alone talk about it. Worse even to write about it. All of those actions would make it more real. Several weeks ago, I reluctantly agreed that my former spouse could take our daughters on a trip over the holiday. The rub is that they will be gone from December 22 through the morning of December 26th. I will miss all of Christmas with them. A first. I have preached more times than I can count that holidays are “just days” and can be re-created on a different day. I have advised repeatedly

3 Techniques for Finding Hidden Income in a Divorce

December 18, 2018 / Divorce Made Simple, Legal Process

The amount of your spouse’s income has two significant impacts on your divorce: child support and alimony. While most spouses are forthright about their income, some minimize or hide their earnings in an attempt to improve their outlook on child support or alimony. This is especially true in cases where spouses are self-contractors, business owners, or cash laborers. Here are three legal techniques your legal team can employ to provide an accurate calculation of your spouse’s income: Discovery Requests Discovery requests are written demands to your spouse to produce information and documents. These demands are typically the first technique used

Beautiful Things

December 14, 2018 / NEXT: An Empowerment Series

I didn’t notice that the paper was red and green, only that it was beautifully wrapped. It was three days past my December birthday. I assumed the gift awaiting me at the end of a long day did not want to wait another moment to be opened. I removed the plaid bow. I carefully lifted the tape. I opened the small brown box and pulled back the tissue. I gasped. A soft pink and white tea cup, decorated in gold, was tucked inside. Instantly I knew it was not a reproduction but an antique. I carefully lifted it out by

Remembering Night Man

December 7, 2018 / NEXT: An Empowerment Series

This week marks a decade since Howard died. Like my father, he died within weeks of a lung cancer diagnosis. Dad had died on Christmas day, Howard the first week of December. Two years later my mother’s would also be a December death. With the arrival of my December birthday, my heart memory reminds me to reflect on the good fortune to be on this earth to celebrate another year. Howard married my sister Diane when I was six and she was sixteen. He became my sixth brother. He was the first person I remember teasing me, an experience of