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Month: March 2019

Month: March 2019

Intentionally Curious Part 3: Co-Parenting Conversations I sat down at my table and took a few deep breaths to calm the nerves or nausea that toiled in my stomach.  I already felt like crying and my former spouse hadn’t even arrived yet.  Maybe I should send a text that I wasn’t feeling well and we would need to reschedule.  No.  That would only delay the inevitable. Here I was, seemingly poised and prepared to have a challenging conversation with my former spouse.  We would be covering topics induced by an impasse reached weeks earlier.  I started in on my self
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Nebraska Love

I’m glad John isn’t alive to see this. Devastation in three-fourths of our state’s 93 counties.  Three people killed.  Entire towns underwater. Breached levies and flooding rivers mix to form toxic pools. They say the damage in Nebraska is well over a billion dollars. That doesn’t begin to measure the loss. John loved Mother Earth.  He prohibited all poisons in his garden. A genuine tree hugger, this six foot three man tenderly cared for the tiniest green blades poking out of spring soil. He taught school children how to compost with little red worms. He was a member of the
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Parents with Patience Part 2:  A Co-Parenting Conversation Series “Are you going to respond?”  “Please respond.”  “I am not going to bring Billy’s baseball shoes that he needs until you answer my question about the summer parenting dates in 5 months.”  “I need a response.”  “Are you too busy to be a good parent?”  “I am calling my lawyer.” More often than you would think, our lawyers and paralegals are reading text messages, emails, and phone transcripts accounts of between non-cooperating co-parents that ring very similar to this example.  I would say parenting conflict in communication often snowballs, but it
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4 Good Reasons You Should Have a Prenup

In reality, prenuptial agreements are more than just an agreement about money.  They can also be used to address other important issues, such as providing for children from a previous relationship.  There are some things that may be even more important to you than the division of assets or spousal support — a traditional use of prenups — including these four issues: 1.  Asset protection. A prenuptial agreement can help you protect assets by specifying how both marital and non-marital assets will be divided upon a divorce.  Nebraska courts expect prenups to be fair and equitable, so don’t think you
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Got Lucky

The longer I live the luckier I get. My working parents didn’t know a lot of prosperity. Sleeping on a bed in the dining room, receiving powdered milk from the government, and learning how to transfer buses were a part of my growing up. I got lucky that for the rest of my life I never took a car that runs, a decent bowl of soup, or having my own bedroom for granted. When my Catholic parents could no longer afford the parochial school tuition, my siblings and I transferred to public school. Most of my classmates were not college
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Time to Talk Part 1: A Co-Parenting Conversation Series I can’t remember ever having felt nervous with my former spouse.  Maybe twenty years ago when we met on April 1, 1999.  For my last year of law school, my sister and I moved into a quaint duplex near the state capitol.  He was the boy next door.  Little did I know then that we would be married, have children, and be divorced inside the span of two decades. This day I was nervous.  I arrived at the café early hoping to tame the knots twisting around in my stomach.  Eric
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International Women’s Day

“You need to meet Laila,” she said. Amidst my law partner’s sparkling holiday celebration, my friend left me in awe with the story of a twenty-something woman living an hour away from me and helping women halfway across the world. For as long as I can remember, my heart has been drawn to the plight of women in foreign lands. I wept as I walked through the home of Winnie Mandela, who in her war against South African apartheid spent 491 days in prison—with months in solitary confinement. I once eagerly pressed my business card into the hand of a
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Watch for These Signs That Your Divorce is Hurting Your Kids

Divorce unleashes a lot of different emotions and many times adults are too caught up in their own pain and suffering to see the signs that your children are suffering, too. While adults have learned ways to cope, children have not yet developed coping mechanisms to help them deal with their emotions. Often, they don’t know how to even express what they are feeling, which is why parents must be extra vigilant in looking for signs that your children are suffering, including: Frequent emotional outbursts. Children who are having difficulties coping with their emotions about a divorce usually don’t know
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Endless Winter

Searching for hope, I checked my weather app. With the month of March  a day away, I was certain I’d see some good news. Our Midwestern winter seems endless. The average temperature for the past week is typically 42, but instead is was mostly 4s and 2s, sometimes below zero.  The first heavy snow of the season that closed schools brought smiles, sledding, and Instagram photos of snowpeople.  The most recent brought traffic jams, multiple cancellations of meaningful events, and many an aching back from ceaseless shoveling. I was seeking some solace in a future forecast of sunshine. Instead I
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