Skip to content

Month: October 2024

October 2024

Scared

Halloween is one of my favorite nights of the year.  Particularly when it lands on a cool, windy evening and you can hear the leaves crunching and rustling underfoot as the children laugh up and down the sidewalks before shouting “trick or treat” at doorsteps.  I enjoy the occasional whiffs through the air of burning pumpkin and the taste of the crispy Kit Kat that I inevitably steal from one of my daughters’ treat bags by the end of the night. What I do not enjoy about Halloween is the feeling of being scared.  I would no more willingly walk
Read More

Alcohol Monitoring in Nebraska Custody Cases: What You Need to Know

In the midst of a divorce, particularly when child custody is involved, concerns about a co-parent’s alcohol use can add complexity to an already stressful situation. One option to address these concerns is the use of alcohol monitoring devices, which can provide peace of mind regarding a parent’s sobriety during their time with the children. What Is an Alcohol Monitoring Device? Alcohol monitoring devices, commonly handheld breathalyzers, are used to test and track a parent’s alcohol consumption. In custody cases, these devices may be required before, during, and after parenting time if there are concerns about a parent’s drinking habits.
Read More

In Love and Loss

She said it in such a whisper I could barely tell she was talking.  “I still love him,” she said with a shiver of shame running over her.  My heart moved over to make room for her.  I had met this sadness before – from the hims and hers who came in throughout the years ahead of her.  They told me about the struggles living with a spouse addicted, with a spouse turned paranoid, or with a spouse now violent.  Their sadness you could nearly cup in your hand it was so palpable.  They sought options to end the cycle
Read More

10 Factors That Influence How Quickly You Recover From Divorce

According to a recent article in Psychology Today, how quickly and well you recover from a divorce depends largely on these 10 factors: 1.  The length of the marriage. The longer you and your spouse were together, the more entwined your lives became — which makes it more likely that it will take longer for the two of you to become used to functioning as a single person rather than a couple. 2.  If the divorce was a surprise. If you had no idea that your spouse was going to ask you for a divorce, the surprise element can make
Read More

Battered

The first time I saw a man punch a woman in the face, I was in high school, in the passenger seat of my boyfriend’s car, looking out the window at the bowling alley we were passing.  I was shocked, horrified, and instantly felt sick to my stomach.  Prior to that moment it had never occurred to me, outside of movies, that someone would be violent toward a person that they were supposed to love and cherish.  That punch was a pivotal moment shaping the woman I have grown into and what ultimately led to my pursuit of a legal
Read More

The 5 Facebook Rules You Need to Protect Your Marriage

Social media has done wonders to connect people all over the world, but there is one type of connection it has become infamous for: infidelity.  Studies have shown that a spouse’s overuse of Facebook contributes to marriage instability and dissatisfaction.  That usage can also encourage behavior that is destructive to intimate relationships: flirting, making emotional connections with others, even sexual affairs. To help protect your marriage, here are 5 Facebook rules you need to implement: Don’t accept friend requests from anyone of the opposite sex that you know is attracted to you or your spouse. Don’t “friend” former girlfriends or
Read More

Performance Review

I get nervous just thinking about it – all of my co-workers rating me in all areas of my professional performance.  Do I keep my promises?  Do I approach my work with enthusiasm?  Do I listen without interrupting? Every year I must remind myself why I actively choose to put myself through a performance review. Founded on the principle “look, see, tell the truth, take authentic action,” our firm coach, Susan, teaches us that to move toward growth and betterment these four steps are key.  Performance reviews help us pause to look.  Our co-workers and supervisors help us see and
Read More

4 Ways Children Suffer in a Bad Marriage

Today, divorce is commonplace, but there was a time several decades ago when divorce was considered socially taboo and couples were encouraged to always stay together “for the sake of the children.” Now we know that whether or not divorce is harmful to children depends largely on how it is handled by their parents.  We also know that toxic marriages can cause more harm than good to children.  There are several ways that children suffer when their parents have a bad marriage; here are four of the most common: 1.  Chronic anxiety. Conflicts in a marriage are internalized by children,
Read More

A Season of Scared

I live in constant fear.  Walking on eggshells, whispering my first words in a conversation and bracing myself when I hear the door shut from their arrival have become the norm.  It started about 2 years ago when my oldest turned 13.  My household now includes a 15 ½ year old and a 13 year old – thus the reason for my perpetual state of panic.  I worry about them driving.  I worry about what is happening on their phones.  I worry about why they don’t talk to me.  I worry about when they do talk to me.  I worry
Read More

Archives