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Month: November 2012

Month: November 2012

Non-Holidays

The holiday season is upon us and for those of us divorced moms and dads, the holidays inevitably mean some of the upcoming days may be tinged with sadness, angst or downright Scrooge-ish behavior.  Recently I confronted the question of what holidays really mean.  I was forced to assess my own rigidity when it comes to holiday traditions and celebrations. A few weeks ago, my former spouse and co-parent mentioned switching weekends around the Thanksgiving holiday because he was travelling to Texas to visit his parents.  His plan was to drive.  Our daughters had not seen their grandparents whom they
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Thanksgiving

Among the many gifts my mother left me was the capacity to be perpetually grateful.  When bestowed with the smallest act of kindness, she felt treated like royalty.  Someone who offered her a seat on the bus or a cup of coffee was spoken of with high esteem for days to follow. My mother’s family lost their Nebraska farm land in the Great Depression when she was ten. With her 8th grade education, she left home at 16 to work as a housekeeper.  She married and lived in and out of poverty with my alcoholic father. She bore eight children
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Cheering Section

There is nothing like Husker football Saturdays in Nebraska during the fall.  Memorial Stadium becomes the third largest city in Nebraska.  Fans from all over the state don their very best red, white and black along with the occasional sprinkling of cornheads to cheer on their beloved Cornhuskers.  The energy is electric and I assure you there is no way to watch or listen to the tunnel walk without goosebumps creeping down your body.  I have been a natural “cheerleader” my entire life.  From being one who wakes up looking for the glass half full to actually wearing a one
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Taking the Long View

Elections. Hurricanes. Divorces. Whether planned or unplanned, the outcomes of big events are unpredictable. You plan an election campaign. Then a hurricane strikes. You plan your budget.  Then furnace quits. You plan a happily ever after. Then divorce happens. We get overwhelmingly inspired, hold clear visions, focus on intentions, and make great plans. Still, there is physical reality. The unpredictable is inevitable. When we go from our hopes and dreams to the pile of dirty laundry and pile of unpaid bills, we are again overwhelmed.  But not from our inspiration. We may still have a vision of what we want  
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Scared

Halloween is one of my favorite nights of the year.  Particularly when it lands on a cool, windy evening and you can hear the leaves crunching and rustling underfoot as the children laugh up and down the sidewalks before shouting “trick or treat” at doorsteps.  I enjoy the occasional whiffs through the air of burning pumpkin and the taste of the crispy Kit Kat that I inevitably steal from one of my daughters’ treat bags by the end of the night. What I do not enjoy about Halloween is the feeling of being scared.  I would no more willingly walk
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