Month: November 2018

November 2018

In the Quiet

November 30, 2018 / NEXT: An Empowerment Series

I love to talk. It is a natural state for me. I think by talking aloud. For 25 years I made a litigator’s living by talking. The fifth of eight children, talking was a serious survival skill. I enjoy talking to a room of hundreds or walking into that same room and making a connection with another person within a matter of minutes. I’ve been known to delight a stranger with the story of how I fell in love. While many of my dearest friends are tortured by social events, I leave a party exhilarated while they decline my invitation

A Season for Strategies

November 29, 2018 / Doing Divorce

I stitched every inch of this holiday advent calendar. I could spend an equivalent number of hours delighting in it as I did creating it. However, if I had to pull from the pocket the felt toy from each of the days I would not have my daughters with me in December, the calendar would be only half-filled. That old familiar frustration of having to share my daughters with their dad during the holidays stings anew. In 7 years of sharing holidays, I confess it has not become as easy as I had hoped. In fact, for me, it is

Tim’s Trust

November 16, 2018 / NEXT: An Empowerment Series

I stare at the photo as though I’d never seen it before. Alone in my living room, I hold the black and white Polaroid in my hand and start to choke up. It’s been twenty-fours since Tim died. When I returned home for the holiday break Tim overheard me talking to our mom in the kitchen about my first experience at a gay bar as a college freshman. “I need to talk to you,” he said. We walked down the wooden stairs to his bedroom in the back of the basement. “There’s something I need to tell you. I’m gay.”

Thankful: Lesson Learned

November 15, 2018 / Doing Divorce

My daughter is grumpy. She keeps complaining that we are having our Thanksgiving in two days – on Saturday. When I mentioned getting our Christmas tree earlier this year, due to a complicated holiday schedule and adjustments that were made, she nearly game unglued. Tears, pouting, and teenage angst have been triggered by any discussion around the holidays this year. “Anna,” I said one evening when the tears were welling up in her eyes. “Don’t you remember you are the one who taught me the lesson that holidays have very little to do with the actual day on which they

They Don’t Care

November 9, 2018 / NEXT: An Empowerment Series

“They just don’t care,” he said. His disgust infused his disappointment. The silver haired man in a suit with bright blue eyes scanned the room of the anxiously hopeful awaiting results on the big screen? “Where are the young people? They just don’t care.” “They just don’t” he repeated, shaking his head. He spouted off his support for his belief, providing a litany of facts for his conclusion. By now the polls were closed and I was done trying to persuade anyone to a different point of view on anything. I resisted the urge to argue about how wrong he

Voicing Your Vote

November 8, 2018 / Doing Divorce

I excitedly combed through my hair and put on lipstick. I double (maybe triple) checked the location and tried to temper the nervous feeling in my stomach. I felt like my face was going to be sore the next day from smiling. Sorry to disappoint Mom, but I was not about to leave for a date, I was instead headed to the polls to cast my vote. I love voting. I appreciate the feeling that my opinion counts. Voting makes me feel hopeful, important, and engaged. I love that our democratic system says to each citizen – your voice matters.

5 Questions to Ask Your Divorce Attorney in the Initial Consultation

November 6, 2018 / Divorce Made Simple, Divorce Tips

When meeting with an attorney for the first time in the divorce process, it is important that you receive candid advice to any questions or concerns that you may have. While your attorney may not be able to answer all of your questions during the initial consultation, your attorney should be able to provide you with guidance and insight. When preparing your list of initial consultation questions, here are five suggestions to add to your list: What information do you need from me? To complete a divorce, a number of documents have to be collected. Ask your attorney to provide

Hate in My Heart

November 2, 2018 / NEXT: An Empowerment Series

“I just hate him,” she said. She started to cry again. My hug felt like a petty comfort to the searing pain the blast had left. It was 72 hours after the Tree of Life Synagogue slaughter. She was referring not to the shooter but to the president of the United States. I knew which facts forged the basis of her emotion. I also knew that her suffering was exacerbated by her hate. Being a tender-hearted person, she was not being herself. Later that day, I told a friend, “Trump’s going to Pittsburg.” “Good for him,” my friend replied. Shame

Pumpkin Perfection

November 1, 2018 / Doing Divorce

We almost forgot about fall. Not intentionally. But it happened with booked up and busy weekends and a failure to plan ahead. In a mad dash to tackle our fall traditions, we headed to the pumpkin patch on October 28th to pick the perfect pumpkins and return home to carve them. The day was beyond beautiful. Blue skies, no long lines, and the perfect pumpkins had waited for us in the patch. Inhaling the crisp fall air and hearing the crunch of leaves under our shoes was good for our souls. We were happy. We returned home where my parents