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Month: November 2018

Month: November 2018

In the Quiet

I love to talk. It is a natural state for me. I think by talking aloud. For 25 years I made a litigator’s living by talking. The fifth of eight children, talking was a serious survival skill. I enjoy talking to a room of hundreds or walking into that same room and making a connection with another person within a matter of minutes. I’ve been known to delight a stranger with the story of how I fell in love. While many of my dearest friends are tortured by social events, I leave a party exhilarated while they decline my invitation
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A Season for Strategies

I stitched every inch of this holiday advent calendar.  I could spend an equivalent number of hours delighting in it as I did creating it.  However, if I had to pull from the pocket the felt toy from each of the days I would not have my daughters with me in December, the calendar would be only half-filled.  That old familiar frustration of having to share my daughters with their dad during the holidays stings anew. In 7 years of sharing holidays, I confess it has not become as easy as I had hoped.  In fact, for me, it is
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Settlement v. Trial: 10 Things to Consider

All divorces end by either settling or going to trial. While the vast majority take the former route, settlement is not always the best or most appropriate option. Determining whether to settle or to take your case to trial can be a difficult decision. Here are some questions to consider when making your decision. How fast do I want my case resolved? If completing your case as soon as possible is important to you, then settlement may be favorable to trial. How much money am I willing to spend on my case? Trials can add a significant cost to your
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Tim’s Trust

I stare at the photo as though I’d never seen it before. Alone in my living room, I hold the black and white Polaroid in my hand and start to choke up. It’s been twenty-fours since Tim died. When I returned home for the holiday break Tim overheard me talking to our mom in the kitchen about my first experience at a gay bar as a college freshman. “I need to talk to you,” he said. We walked down the wooden stairs to his bedroom in the back of the basement. “There’s something I need to tell you. I’m gay.”
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Thankful: Lesson Learned

My daughter is grumpy.  She keeps complaining that we are having our Thanksgiving in two days – on Saturday.  When I mentioned getting our Christmas tree earlier this year, due to a complicated holiday schedule and adjustments that were made, she nearly game unglued.  Tears, pouting, and teenage angst have been triggered by any discussion around the holidays this year. “Anna,” I said one evening when the tears were welling up in her eyes.  “Don’t you remember you are the one who taught me the lesson that holidays have very little to do with the actual day on which they
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Out-of-State Travel

Can my co-parent book airline tickets and travel out-of-state with our child? Does he/she need my consent first? Is our child allowed to leave Nebraska with either parent? The country? These questions are common for parents transitioning into their new normal of co-parenting. With the holidays right around the corner, you may be wondering what rights you have to take your child out of state. Or, perhaps your co-parent has already booked plane tickets, but you disagree with your small child flying on an airplane. Can anything be done? Parents have the right to spend holiday or vacation time with
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They Don’t Care

“They just don’t care,” he said. His disgust infused his disappointment. The silver haired man in a suit with bright blue eyes scanned the room of the anxiously hopeful awaiting results on the big screen? “Where are the young people?  They just don’t care.” “They just don’t” he repeated, shaking his head. He spouted off his support for his belief, providing a litany of facts for his conclusion. By now the polls were closed and I was done trying to persuade anyone to a different point of view on anything. I resisted the urge to argue about how wrong he
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Voicing Your Vote

I excitedly combed through my hair and put on lipstick.  I double (maybe triple) checked the location and tried to temper the nervous feeling in my stomach.  I felt like my face was going to be sore the next day from smiling.  Sorry to disappoint Mom, but I was not about to leave for a date, I was instead headed to the polls to cast my vote. I love voting.   I appreciate the feeling that my opinion counts.  Voting makes me feel hopeful, important, and engaged. I love that our democratic system says to each citizen – your voice matters. 
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5 Questions to Ask Your Divorce Attorney in the Initial Consultation

When meeting with an attorney for the first time in the divorce process, it is important that you receive candid advice to any questions or concerns that you may have. While your attorney may not be able to answer all of your questions during the initial consultation, your attorney should be able to provide you with guidance and insight. When preparing your list of initial consultation questions, here are five suggestions to add to your list: What information do you need from me? To complete a divorce, a number of documents have to be collected. Ask your attorney to provide
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Hate in My Heart

“I just hate him,” she said. She started to cry again. My hug felt like a petty comfort to the searing pain the blast had left. It was 72 hours after the Tree of Life Synagogue slaughter. She was referring not to the shooter but to the president of the United States. I knew which facts forged the basis of her emotion. I also knew that her suffering was exacerbated by her hate. Being a tender-hearted person, she was not being herself. Later that day, I told a friend, “Trump’s going to Pittsburg.” “Good for him,” my friend replied. Shame
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