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Month: March 2020

March 2020

Distraction Action

An unspoken judgment wafted through the rear corridors of my mind every time I heard the word. People kept talking about seeking “distractions”. Meanwhile, I tried to avoid them. I’ve long seen distractions as something that derail me from my path. The phone call that turns the broiling garlic bread to black char. The rabbit hole of the web as I procrastinate starting this week’s blog. The half package of Girl Scout Thin Mints that takes me away from a good cry. Distractions can interfere with our goals, the precious present moment, and from what we don’t want to see.
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The Good, Bad and Ugly – Part 2: A COVID-19 Co-Parenting series

“I don’t want to go to Dad’s.  I have all of my school stuff here and I don’t want to pack it up.”  I knew it would come.  Last week was “I can’t wait to go” and this week it was bemoaning the same fact.  Co-parenting during COVID-19 continues. This week in my lawyer role, we saw the good, bad, and the ugly in co-parenting surface. I used to say that divorce sometimes brings out the worst in parents.  Now I know better.  Divorcing during a pandemic beats that by a mile. The Good For the most part, parents continue
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Temporary Child Support in Nebraska

After your divorce has been filed, you might find that there are temporary issues that need to be resolved before the final Decree is entered and your divorce is complete.  Most commonly, after parents separate households and finances, a temporary child support award is necessary to ensure that the minor children’s financial needs are met during the pendency of the divorce.  If you and your spouse are unable to agree upon the amount of temporary support to be paid each month, your attorney can file a motion for temporary support asking the judge to determine how much child support should
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Spring Still Comes

I lifted the dirt filled tray out from beneath the radiator in the kitchen. I pulled back the plastic wrap that had turned it into a mini greenhouse. I gasped. The salvia had sprouted.  It was just days after the World Health Organization declared the pandemic when the tiny threads of green popped out.   A week earlier, when the country was commencing its collapse under coronavirus, I’d sought solace in purchasing potting soil instead of toilet paper.  Each morning I say hello to my seedlings. I eagerly examine them.  I gently water them from the cheerful can that once held Tropical Cherry Sparkling Water.   Connecting with nature. Focusing on what is in front of me. Doing what I can.  Each small act that
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Trying On Trust: A COVID-19 Co-Parenting Series

“I can’t wait to go to Dad’s!!  HE will let me go to my friend’s house.”  Despite all the instructions not to, both of my hands instinctively went to my face and pulled my eyes and cheeks downward.  And here it was – co-parenting during COVID19. My eldest daughter and I had just traveled over her spring break from school right at the onset of the pandemic breaking.  My youngest had gone to Washington D.C. for a pre-planned school trip during the same time period.  As the news was breaking around us, I knew that we potentially could have been
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Two Actions to Take Before Separating from Your Spouse

Failing to prepare is preparing to fail, and in the context of divorce, this adage rings true. If you are considering separating from your spouse and filing for divorce, it is important that you prepare for both the legal process and the fact that you and your spouse will soon be living apart. From budgeting to finding emotional support, a pre-separation checklist should rival the importance, if not the thickness, of a commercial airliner takeoff manual. However, if you only have the time or the energy for a few pre-separation preparations, then here are two actions that all spouses should
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Can I Modify Alimony After My Divorce?

 It is not unusual for financial circumstances to change after a divorce, and Nebraska law allows for either ex-spouse to make a request for modification of support, be it a paying spouse who can no longer afford his or her support payments or a nonpaying spouse in need of additional support. There may be a justification for modifying alimony if it can be proven that there has been a “material change in circumstances,” usually meaning there has been a substantial change in income for either party. If your decree states that your alimony order is “unmodifiable” then it cannot be
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You Need a Haircut

“You need a haircut,” he said, looking me straight in the eye. I felt the sting. I looked in the mirror then decided not to argue with a five-year-old.  He went on. “You look like a lion.” Feeling bad about my hair has been a part of my history since childhood. More than one home haircut left my bangs chopped to the top of my forehead. In first grade a big section of the right side of my head was shaved for a surgery. One well-intended adult said “Well, you’re still a nice girl,” and I knew the rest of
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Substitute Spouses

It was a startling statement.  “You need to go to the hospital right now for a CT scan to rule out stroke.”  I blinked without focusing and shook my head in disbelief.  I had arrived at my doctor’s office with the confidence that she would give me an antibiotic to alleviate my self-diagnosed sinus infection (despite no actual symptoms).  How else could I explain the pain in my head and the blind spots I was having in both eyes?  A Google search had indicated it could be a sinus infection… I arrived at the hospital gripping the referral sheet –
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