Month: September 2025

September 2025

Mediation Mondays: Top Qualities to Look for in a Divorce Mediator

September 29, 2025 / Divorce Made Simple, Divorce Tips, Legal Process, Mediation Mondays

Choosing a mediator is one of the most important decisions you’ll make during your divorce. The right professional can help you reach fair agreements while minimizing conflict, stress, and cost. But not all mediators are the same. Here are the top qualities to look for when making your choice: 1. NeutralityA good mediator doesn’t take sides. Their role is to guide both parties toward resolution, not to advocate for one spouse over the other. Neutrality helps ensure trust in the process. 2. Strong Communication SkillsMediators must listen carefully, ask the right questions, and explain complex issues in plain language. They

Fair and Weathered Friends

September 25, 2025 / Doing Divorce

We sat on a bench pointed toward the sea like two women twice our age. I clutched my binoculars in one hand ready to spy anything (or anyone) worth my interest and I tsked the young man out on the coastal rocks by himself. She marveled at the constancy of the ocean waves and how they made our troubles seem small and remote. We fell into easy silences and I scooched closer to keep her warm. We have been side by side friends since we were twelve years old. We struggled through puberty and big eighties hair together. We bravely took

Divorce in Iowa: The Basic Steps You Need to Know

September 22, 2025 / Divorce Made Simple, Divorce Tips, Legal Process

Starting a divorce can feel overwhelming. The good news? Once you understand the basic steps, the process feels more manageable. Here’s a simple roadmap of what happens in an Iowa divorce, from filing that first piece of paper to receiving your final decree. Step 1: Filing the Petition – Making It Official Every divorce begins with a Petition for Dissolution of Marriage. This is the document that tells the court you’re asking to legally end your marriage. The Petition usually includes: Step 2: Serving the Other Party – Giving Notice Once the Petition is filed, your spouse must be officially

Pumpkin Perfection

September 18, 2025 / Doing Divorce

We almost forgot about fall. Not intentionally. But it happened with booked up and busy weekends and a failure to plan ahead. In a mad dash to tackle our fall traditions, we headed to the pumpkin patch on October 28th to pick the perfect pumpkins and return home to carve them. The day was beyond beautiful. Blue skies, no long lines, and the perfect pumpkins had waited for us in the patch. Inhaling the crisp fall air and hearing the crunch of leaves under our shoes was good for our souls. We were happy. We returned home where my parents

Mediation Mondays: Is Mediation Right for Your Divorce?

September 15, 2025 / Divorce Made Simple, Divorce Tips, Mediation Mondays

When facing divorce, one of the earliest decisions you’ll make is how you want to resolve your case. While litigation in court is the path most people know, mediation offers an alternative that can be less stressful, less expensive, and more respectful. But mediation is not the right fit for every couple. Asking yourself a few key questions can help you determine whether this process is right for you. 1. Can we communicate respectfully—even if it’s difficult?Mediation doesn’t require you and your spouse to agree on everything, but it does require a willingness to engage in honest conversation. If you

Time Tested

September 11, 2025 / Doing Divorce

I left early. At 6:00 a.m. to get ahead of the day, the traffic, the time zone changes. My route took me through the Willamette National Forest in Oregon while the eastward rising sun kept peeking at me through the forest evergreens. For miles the ducks on a nearby lake were my only company. I pulled out on a lookout spot for Mt. Washington. I breathed in all the peace my body could take. The last two months had left me feeling battle worn and emotionally bruised. I took this moment to be present and told myself to let go. The tears

Mediation Mondays: The Role of the Mediator

September 8, 2025 / Divorce Made Simple, Divorce Tips, Mediation Mondays

When people first hear the word “mediator,” they often imagine a judge-like figure who steps in to decide who is right and who is wrong. In reality, mediation is very different. A mediator does not act as a decision-maker. Instead, their role is to guide both parties through difficult conversations, helping each person feel heard and understood while working toward a solution that everyone can accept. The mediator’s neutrality is the cornerstone of the process. Unlike an attorney who advocates for one side, a mediator remains impartial, ensuring that the process is fair and balanced. They create a safe space

The Why

September 4, 2025 / Doing Divorce

“I can’t imagine what it feels like,” I heard myself utter in quiet dismay. I watched from behind the news reporter and the camera as my clients were asked “Why? How does it feel? Why do you love your sons? How do your sons feel? Why fight this battle? What is next?” The big tv camera lens will soon morph to a microscopic lens as the court evaluates these women as parents and whether or not they should be treated the same as unwed opposite-sex parents. The truth is that I can try to imagine it – I just don’t