Month: November 2025

November 2025

Grateful

November 20, 2025 / Doing Divorce

Light me up a pumpkin spiced candle, let my feet crunch as I walk over brightly colored leaves, and zip me into a parka when the fall wind nips at my nose. I love all that is fall. I love this season, and in particular, this week of Thanksgiving, where with it brings reflections on gratitude and abundance. During times of transition or grief, it may be difficult to feel gratitude or see the silver linings, but perhaps take pause and really look. Why I Am Grateful for my Divorce Did I just write that subtitle? Did it just get

Mediation Mondays: A Mediation Phrase That Changes Everything

November 17, 2025 / Divorce Made Simple, Divorce Tips, Legal Process, Mediation Mondays

In the middle of conflict, people often default to defending themselves rather than trying to understand the other side. Tension rises, assumptions grow, and conversation shuts down. But in mediation, one simple phrase can lower the temperature and open the door to real problem-solving: “Help me understand…” Those three words shift the dynamic from confrontation to curiosity, making it easier for both people to move toward a workable solution. When someone uses this phrase, it invites clarity instead of escalation. Rather than responding with anger or shutting down, the other person feels seen and heard—something most people desperately need in

The Last Thing

November 13, 2025 / Doing Divorce

“I agree with the parenting plan for our son and the child support amount.” Pause. “I agree with receiving half of the retirement accounts and home equity.” Pause. “I agree with how the debt has been distributed and it is fair.” Pause. “But I want the snow blower.” If I had a snow blower for every time negotiations in a divorce action came to a screeching halt over an item of personal property, I could pass them around like Oprah at Christmas. “You get a snow blower, and you get a snow blower – snow blowers for everyone!” Although it

Mediation Mondays: The Strength of Neutrality

November 10, 2025 / Divorce Made Simple, Divorce Tips, Mediation Mondays

Neutrality is the cornerstone of mediation and the quality that gives the process its integrity. When people enter mediation, emotions are often high, communication may have broken down, and trust can feel out of reach. A mediator’s neutrality helps restore balance by ensuring that every voice is heard and valued equally. This impartial stance allows participants to focus on the issues rather than feeling the need to defend themselves from bias or judgment. True neutrality goes far beyond simply “not taking sides.” It requires deep listening, patience, and the ability to guide conversations without steering them. A neutral mediator is

A Season of Scared

November 6, 2025 / Doing Divorce

I live in constant fear. Walking on eggshells, whispering my first words in a conversation and bracing myself when I hear the door shut from their arrival have become the norm. It started about 2 years ago when my oldest turned 13. My household now includes a 15 ½ year old and a 13 year old – thus the reason for my perpetual state of panic. I worry about them driving. I worry about what is happening on their phones. I worry about why they don’t talk to me. I worry about when they do talk to me. I worry