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Having History

December 11, 2014 /
I wrapped my arms wrapped around each of my daughters as they cozied up to me on the couch the other night while we admired our decorated Christmas tree.  Our tree holds our history both pre and post divorce with the ornaments gathered from each of the years of my girls’ lives.  We laugh as we look back at their Santa’s lap pictures from throughout the years, a couple of which include their parents together from their younger years.  Their dad and I continue to visit Santa together with them every year.  And now our visits include their added family
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Battered

October 9, 2014 /
The first time I saw a man punch a woman in the face, I was in high school, in the passenger seat of my boyfriend’s car, looking out the window at the bowling alley we were passing.  I was shocked, horrified, and instantly felt sick to my stomach.  Prior to that moment it had never occurred to me, outside of movies, that someone would be violent toward a person that they were supposed to love and cherish.  That punch was a pivotal moment shaping the woman I have grown into. This picture shows the final memento I received from my
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Transition Time

September 18, 2014 /
Every year I buy a new box of color crayons… for myself.  The smell of the newly opened box takes me back to the stress-less days that were my childhood.  The pointed colorful tips are potential waiting.  I relish the back to school season.  New teachers for the girls, the starting again of routine and schedules, more structure and activity to the days as compared to the laze of summer, and a clean slate for the school year ahead. But I confess that getting back into routine is a challenge.  After every drop off to the school at 7:35 a.m.
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Permitting Parents

May 15, 2014 /
The quiet rain was soothing. I rolled over, pulled the covers up to my chin, and felt entitled to indulge myself on this Mother’s Day morning. When my phone announced a message, I sat up in happy anticipation and reached for my glasses. Hi Ben, just a gentle reminder that today is Mother’s Day. I hope you have a great day remembering and thinking about your mom…Love, Dad My celebration of Mother’s Day this year was rich. Over the course of a few days it included flowers, sweet expressions of appreciation, a Mediterranean dinner, time with an elderly mother who
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Mindfulness in Motherhood, A Message for Moms

May 8, 2014 /
My daughter Sophia tugs the ears of people she loves.  It started when she was a baby, as I nursed her she would reach up and pull at my ear.  As she got older, she would suck her thumb and tug at her own ear or the ear of any loved one nearby.  Her practice of ear tugging and tugging at our hearts with this gesture continues even today. I recall with clarity the first time I saw Sophia tugging her now stepmom’s ear.  I was coaching Anna’s soccer team and from across the field, I saw Sophia crawl onto
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Remaking May Memories

May 1, 2014 /
May is a month of meaningful memories for me. Starting on the very first of May, I remember the days my children celebrated May Day by making tiny baskets to hang for neighbors in our tree lined block. They delighted to hang their surprise on the doorknob, ring the bell, and race away. As a girl growing up Catholic in my Little Italy neighborhood, May was the month to honor the Virgin Mary. Her shrine on my bedroom dresser was an inverted shoe box covered with a lace doily where her veiled figure in her blue and pink gown stood
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Parenting the Pout

March 13, 2014 /
I wish this pout had seemed sweet on December 28, 2012.  I wish it had made me want to smile.  But on December 28, 2012, my sweet Sophia wasn’t just pouting.  She was throwing an all out tantrum.  The cause of the tantrum?  I was picking her up from her dad for my parenting time.  It makes me want to start sobbing even now.  I have waited over a year to write about this and as I sit typing, a large lump has formed in my throat. It was primarily a product of inopportune timing.  You see, her paternal grandparents
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Reminded Anew

February 20, 2014 /
His wide open eyes revealed his shell shock. In less than 24 hours he had learned that his mother had a medical crisis, was hospitalized, and now faced death. The single parent who worked two jobs to raise him and his sisters on her own. The piano teacher who instilled in him a love of music that endured throughout his life. Mom. Philip, a fellow attorney here at the firm, is a dedicated man. A devoted husband, bright and hardworking, a loving father. The summer afternoon the phone call came, he arranged for his clients to be cared for by
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Magic in Moments

December 24, 2013 /
Look at her long legs stretched all the way to the floor.  Look at her outfit compared to her younger sister’s – the fancy dress dismissed for a fashion statement.  Look at this girl near 10 years old, with the knowledge behind those grown up glasses that she is now sitting on a stranger’s lap, not the comforting lap of a magical man.  This photo was taken last week and after posting it for friends and family to see – I had a moment of embarrassment when I realized my state of denial. Denial comes in many forms, frequently followed
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Making the Grade

November 7, 2013 /
The school called.  Immediately the sinking feeling hit my stomach.  Would I be able to rearrange my afternoon to leave work if one of the girls was sick?  Did one of them have an incident at school?  Do I have time to take on one more volunteer project?  Like rapid fire these questions hit before I had even said hello. It was the school secretary calling to ask if it would be alright to again this year schedule a joint parent-teacher conference with both me and my former spouse.  Oh.  That’s all?  “Yes, of course that is fine.  I will
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