Month: July 2025

July 2025

Beyond the Boundaries

July 31, 2025 / Doing Divorce

“I feel so guilty,” she told me with true anguish in her voice, “This is so hard.” My daughter was in conflict with her dad over her summer schedule after returning home from college. “I hate being in the middle.” For 12 years I tried to heed the oft-stated warning for divorced parents to keep your children out of the middle. The middle being between me and their dad. On many occasions, I “sucked it up” and conceded on a co-parenting issue to shield my kids from knowing there was conflict between their parents. When we divorced our daughters were

Mediation Mondays: From “You vs. Me” to “What’s Best for Us” — The Mindset Shift of Mediation

July 28, 2025 / Divorce Made Simple, Legal Process, Mediation Mondays

Separation or divorce often feels like a battleground. You take your corner, they take theirs, and every decision becomes a tug-of-war. But what if there was another way—one that replaced “you vs. me” with “what’s best for us”? That’s exactly what mediation offers: a mindset shift. Rather than framing every issue as a win-lose proposition, mediation encourages both parties to take a step back and look at the bigger picture—especially in co-parenting situations. Instead of focusing on who gets more time or control, the question becomes: What arrangement supports our children’s well-being? What helps us both move forward with less

Caught with the Cookie Jar

July 24, 2025 / Doing Divorce

Where was she now? My rambunctious and sneaky Sophia was nowhere to be found. Still in her footie pajamas, it was easier for her to be stealthy. I retraced my steps through the house. When I came back down to the living room the quiet was eerie. I heard the slightest shift of her. From where? Behind the chair? I knelt onto the chair with both knees so I could peer over the back. In the corner, nestled behind the chair was my two-year-old, her face full of cookies. She didn’t just get caught with her hand in the cookie

Mediation Mondays: Can We Mediate If We Don’t Even Speak?

July 21, 2025 / Divorce Made Simple, Divorce Tips, Mediation Mondays

One of the most common concerns we hear is, “We can’t even have a conversation—how could we possibly mediate?” It’s a valid question. When communication breaks down completely, the idea of sitting across from someone to make legal and emotional decisions can feel impossible. But the truth is, mediation can still work—even if you aren’t speaking directly to each other. Enter shuttle mediation. In this process, you and the other party are in separate rooms (or separate virtual spaces), and the mediator moves between you—sharing proposals, clarifying concerns, and guiding both sides toward agreement. This format lowers tension, keeps communication

Knowing Our Needs

July 17, 2025 / Doing Divorce

My daughters hurt my feelings. They didn’t mean to and I am sure they were not aware of their infraction. But I was feeling sad and put out all the same. They were at their dad’s house when my newly published book had arrived. I excitedly opened the box and pulled out the neat stack of hardbound books. I hugged one to my chest and sighed with pent-up cheer. The celebration would be a day delayed. This goal was years in the making and one of my proudest accomplishments. I was bursting. Of course I shared the news with my

Mediation Mondays: Choosing Peace Over Power Struggles

July 14, 2025 / Divorce Made Simple, Divorce Tips, Mediation Mondays

When a relationship ends, emotions often run high and the temptation to “win” can take center stage. But in family law—especially when children are involved—winning is rarely as satisfying or sustainable as finding a peaceful resolution. Mediation offers a path that focuses not on beating the other person, but on building solutions that work for everyone. This shift in mindset—from power struggles to problem-solving—is especially valuable for co-parents. Mediation encourages both parties to communicate openly, focus on shared goals (like the well-being of their children), and avoid the prolonged conflict that litigation can often worsen. Instead of fueling resentment, it

Our Family

July 10, 2025 / Doing Divorce

“Angela? Party of Four.” We waited patiently on the bench in the Chicago airport for our table at the crowded eatery during our layover to a short weekend vacation. We watched and waited for the other Angela to get her table. “Angela? Party of Four!” The server tried again, annoyance seeping into her voice. My eldest daughter said, “Mom I think she means us.” I stood up and tentatively approached the counter, my two daughters behind me. “I am Angela, but there are only three of us.” “Follow me,” the server replied, setting down the extra menu and extra napkin

Mediation Mondays: Why Mediation Works Better Than Court for Busy Professionals

July 7, 2025 / Divorce Made Simple, Legal Process, Mediation Mondays

For professionals juggling demanding schedules, deadlines, and responsibilities, the thought of adding a legal battle to the calendar can feel overwhelming. Traditional litigation often involves rigid court dates, prolonged timelines, and frequent interruptions to your workday. Mediation offers an alternative that respects your time, your wallet, and your need for efficiency. One of the greatest advantages of mediation is flexibility. Sessions can often be scheduled outside of traditional court hours, including evenings or virtual meetings. This means no scrambling to clear a full day to sit in a courthouse or missing critical moments at work. Mediation works on your time,

Taking the Tennis Shoes

July 3, 2025 / Doing Divorce

I encouraged her more times than I can count to collect all of the items from my house she would want or need for her trip to Mexico the following week with her dad. The day she was leaving my house I ran through a mental checklist with her. Swimsuit? Check. Sandals? Check. She gathered her bag of items and off she went. A few days later – the day before her departure – I get the message. “Mom, I forgot my tennis shoes at your house and I need them for the trip. Can you bring them after work?”