Month: October 2025

October 2025

Hallowed Holidays

October 29, 2025 / Doing Divorce

On Halloween night I sat on my sofa with a ho and a hum. This was the first year I did not spend part of the trick or treat festivities with my daughters. My eldest goes with friends now and needs no help with costume assembly. I didn’t even see her this day. My youngest still came to my house so I could curl her hair, but then off she went at 4:30 to her dad’s house to put on her costume and laugh into the night gathering candy. Seven years of co-parenting and I still hate holidays without my

Mediation Mondays: The Power of Listening

October 27, 2025 / Divorce Made Simple, Divorce Tips, Legal Process, Mediation Mondays

We often enter mediation ready to make our case — prepared with facts, feelings, and frustrations we’ve been holding onto for months or even years. But true progress in mediation doesn’t begin with speaking; it begins with listening. When both people feel genuinely heard, the conversation shifts from confrontation to connection, and that’s where resolution starts to take root. In the middle of a difficult conversation, it’s easy to focus on what you want to say next rather than what the other person is trying to express. But in mediation, listening is one of the most powerful tools you have.

Fear and Finances: Part 3 in a series on Domestic Violence

October 23, 2025 / Doing Divorce

Kirsten’s life tragically ended in violence. I continue this series by looking at another, and all too common, form of domestic abuse. It seemed reasonable in the beginning – supportive even. He said he would handle the finances once they moved in together. He earned a bit more than her so she trusted that he would be fiscally responsible. When they joined households, they also joined finances. She provided all of her accounts, passwords, and trust. “Why did you spend $123 at Target?” he demanded to know. She recited her purchases confused over his anger. “You need to follow the

Mediation Mondays: After the Agreement

October 20, 2025 / Divorce Made Simple, Divorce Tips, Mediation Mondays

You did it. After hours of honest conversation, difficult decisions, and moments of compromise, you reached an agreement in mediation. The relief is real — the papers are signed, the sessions are done, and the path forward seems clear. But as any experienced mediator will tell you, the work of mediation doesn’t end when the documents are finalized. The true success of mediation comes in how you and your former spouse live out that agreement day to day. Putting your plan into practice takes patience, communication, and a shared commitment to the spirit of cooperation that helped you reach resolution

Emotional Entrapment: Part 2 in a series on Domestic Violence

October 16, 2025 / Doing Divorce

“You are so stupid! Didn’t anyone ever teach you how to load a dishwasher?” He roared. She stared at him in disbelief as tears welled up in her eyes and shame slammed into her with the force of his words. “Oh Christ. That’s disgusting! Don’t you dare cry. You are so ugly when you do that.” It was the third time in as many weeks that he had blown up at her out of nowhere. Calling her nasty names with a glare that made him unidentifiable. The first time he immediately feigned horror at his actions and blamed it on

Property Division in Divorce: What “Fair” Really Means in Iowa

October 13, 2025 / Assets and Debts, Divorce Made Simple, Legal Process

One of the biggest questions in any divorce is: Who gets what? The answer isn’t always simple. In Iowa, the law uses a system called equitable distribution. That might sound complicated, but it really means this: the court divides property in a way that is fair, which doesn’t always mean splitting everything 50/50. Fair Doesn’t Always Mean Equal When judges decide how to divide property, they look at the big picture. Instead of automatically cutting everything in half, they consider factors such as: Every family looks different, so what’s “fair” for one couple might not be fair for another. What

Crafting Control: Part 1 in a series on Domestic Violence

October 9, 2025 / Doing Divorce

Butterflies swirled in her stomach for the first time in years when he approached her at work the first night and asked for her phone number. She had just, weeks before, amicably resolved her divorce and this new and foreign spark was a welcome balm to a heart that had been hurting for too long. He was also a divorcee and father of two boys. They connected over co-parenting as she was a new single mom to her three school-aged children. She reveled in being swept up into the object of someone’s loving affection after having been neglected in a

Mediation Mondays: How Mediation Can Save You Time, Money and Stress During Divorce

October 6, 2025 / Divorce Made Simple, Legal Process, Mediation Mondays

Divorce doesn’t have to mean long court battles, high costs, and months of emotional strain. For many couples, mediation offers a more peaceful, efficient path forward. By focusing on collaboration instead of confrontation, mediation can help you save time, money, and stress—while keeping more control in your own hands. 1. Mediation Saves Time Traditional divorce litigation can take months—or even years—to resolve. Mediation streamlines the process by removing crowded court schedules and lengthy filings. With the help of a neutral mediator, couples can often reach agreements in a matter of weeks, not months. That means less waiting, less uncertainty, and

Believe Me

October 2, 2025 / Doing Divorce

“I have a black eye.” “He was raging at me.” “He threw me up against the bathroom door with his hands around my throat and another hand over my mouth.” “He pushed me over our kitchen counter, holding his hands over my mouth and throat.” “I was in my car trying to leave and he came out and dragged me out of it and threw my things all over the street.” “My dad came trying to help me. He punched my dad. He has multiple bruises and possibly a broken nose.” I can’t show you a picture of our client