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Koenig Dunne Divorce Law

Just Curious

March 8, 2012 /
I blame Nancy Drew.  And my Mom.  When I was a little girl, each week my mom would take me to the library where I would check out the next Nancy Drew book in that delightful series to devour, usually within hours.  I love mysteries.  I love questions. I am by definition a curiosity queen. This week I was tasked with preparing for an expert witness’ deposition in a complex custody case.  Preparing for it seemed overwhelming at first glance.  I needed to review the American Psychological Association Guidelines for Forensic Evaluations, I needed to refresh on the facts of
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Appraising Opinions

March 1, 2012 /
Our beliefs about marriage are influenced from our earliest days. Growing up in the 1950s, my bride doll was a treasured symbol of the expected aspiration that I get married. I was barely 6 years old when I watched my big sister walk down the aisle of St. Francis Cabrini Church wearing a white dress, carrying a bouquet of red roses. I was still a teen when a romantic boy presented me with a “promise” ring with its tiny diamond, the symbol of pre-engagement. Images, experiences, opinions. Our culture defines our most closely held beliefs about who we can and
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A House Divided

February 16, 2012 /
I put my “marital residence” on the market upon filing for divorce.  It sat there for months without a bright red SOLD sign on it.   I tidied the entire house for numerous showings, which I can assure you with two small children is no slight feat.  I received multiple offers on the property – all of which I was financially unable to accept.  My daughters and I have perpetually been uncertain about where we would be living in the next 60 days.   All while going through a divorce.  With the decline in the housing market and the depressed economy, we
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Heart Day

February 9, 2012 /
(Audible groan).  I am not a big fan.  Every since Danny Carlson didn’t confess his undying love to me in his valentine in 5th grade, Valentine’s Day has always measured up as a disappointment. Valentine’s Day during a divorce is particularly tough.  It is different from getting through Christmas morning without your kids or getting through Thanksgiving without all of the secretly loved chaos of extended family being around the table.  Valentine’s Day is a pronounced reminder of the heartache you feel.  Valentine’s Day is primarily about what I will dub Expectation Management hereinafter referred to as “EM.”  (I have
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Sick of Divorce

February 2, 2012 /
Demi Moore recently made headlines after a being hospitalized just two months following a separation from her husband. The star I once admired doing chin ups as the brave soldier in GI Jane grew hauntingly thinner in recent months. Concerns of friends accelerated to a panicked 911 call. Exhaustion and divorce can go hand in hand.  So can a relapse of addictions in all forms.  Drugs. Sex. Food. Gambling. Alcohol. Shopping. Work. The familiarity of Moore’s photo shocked me. I recognized the gaunt face and skeleton-like arms. I had seen this image before from across my law office desk. It
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What’s In a Name?

January 26, 2012 /
I promise I am not about to tell you to stop and smell the roses during your divorce.  But I may not be able to resist quoting Shakespeare while discussing a very particular challenge related to divorce. The name change issue and the ensuing identity struggle during and after divorce is a common one.  Men ask me if they can control whether their former wife changes her name back to her maiden name (they can’t) and women, particularly women with children, struggle with this big decision.  I recently overheard two divorced moms discussing this complex issue.  One woman had restored
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Making a Case

January 19, 2012 /
Thirty years of being a divorce lawyer taught me how to build a winning case. I learned that one can gather evidence for any conclusion.  At trial, both sides have a stack of exhibits, a list of witnesses, a summary of statutes, and an argument. We build cases to support our conclusions. When going through divorce, we choose from many conclusions:             “My life is ruined.”  OR “My life is changing but it will be okay.”             “My children will be devastated.” OR “With enough love and stability, my children                                                                                           will survive this.”             “I will never recovery financially.” OR
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Think Positive

January 12, 2012 /
In contrast to people’s often stated resolve to think positively, this week my assistant posed the question, “Do people ever chose to think negatively?”  The answer, in a word, yes ~ particularly during a divorce.  In our culture, we are conditioned to respond to divorce, by default, in a negative way.  My young daughters have been perplexed that Daddy and Mommy do not hate each other because that is what divorce means when watching t.v. or listening to classmates at school.  When actually going through divorce, it is as if you are handed a license to go ahead and think
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Starting Small

January 5, 2012 /
I once denied that I was ambitious. It sounded so mean. Like I would do anything to get what I wanted. Truth be told, I am ambitious. I love accomplishment. While some groan when the new year talk turns to goals, I light up. Give me a great idea and I’ll turn it into a goal before you can say “It was just an idea.”  Goals ensure I focus on what matters to me.  Building a law firm, writing books, biking across Iowa. As a coach I am thrilled to help people reach goals. Goals have always inspired me. But
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My Christmas Wish: Peace on Earth… or at Least Between Parents

December 23, 2011 /
In this first holiday season since being divorced, the emotional tugs from the divorce are in some ways renewed.   The holidays capture tradition, focus on family and love, and press pause for parents to enjoy the magic of childhood.  When divorcing, or even after having been divorced for some time, these highlights of the holidays can feel sad.  My office manager played a comic reel for me just today and the comedian stated very wisely “No good marriage ever ended in divorce.”  While this is true, it does little during the holidays when you desire the traditions of years past
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